


The New Alliance

by Lillystar



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, First Everything, First Kiss, First Time, Force Bond (Star Wars), Hurt/Comfort, I leave Episode IX and its troubles to professionals-this is just to have some fun, Love the Dark Knight and our Jedi in intimate trivial daily situations, Mutual Pining, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Really slow burn (sorry!!), Reylo? Reylo., Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-05
Updated: 2019-07-27
Packaged: 2019-11-12 02:20:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 35,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18001943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lillystar/pseuds/Lillystar
Summary: After the Battle of Crait, Rey is determinate to never be with the Dark Knight again. Kylo Ren, with a war to break, has no time to lose. They have made their decisions.But what if the Force has other plan to them?Enemies to death, everything in the galaxy was conspiring to make them hate each other, but failing again and again.Because when they touch each other, they found consolation and peace.





	1. Chapter 1

“Supreme Leader?”

The low and formal line interrupted the silence on board of the new base of the First Order. Everything was quiet, except for the metallic sounds of the ordered work of machines. The tall black-clad figure in the bridge turned back. He did not wear the mask anymore but he had been holding his feelings for so long that almost any person could realize his thoughts.

Almost anybody, he remembered.

“Yes,” he gave the answer in a cold tone and turned to face the officer, also an implied permission to proceed.

“We have just received the reports from the last pursuance ship,, the officer announced. “They found no records of the remaining ship of the Resistance in that system. They also found no evidence of insurgency.”

“For now,” the man reached the window in a large stride, the voice foreshadowing a storm. The officer tried to hide his nervousness. “You can go,” he ordered. The officer was clearly relieved that this time he was not the source of one of the outburst of the Supreme Leader.

Kylo Ren posted himself in front of the window, staring the blue darkness of hyperspace. All the choices he made brought him to the same place. It was time to start a new path. He will follow no rules anymore.

 

The first time it happened, Rey blamed her own feelings, which was confused and helpless at that moment. She was in an isolated place, alone for the first time. Since they had escape from the First Order attack, there were always so many things to do, to decide, to talk. They were all full of hope and anxiety. Poe and Finn were quite close now, in a very manlike way, which sometimes makes Rey fell apart.

There was a rudimentary structure for a base now. She had spent several days helping the technicians to repair the broken ships and old equipment they were able to obtain in quickly expeditions, a metaphor of the Resistance situation.

Despite all their friends’ hopes and expectations, the true was that Rey simple don’t know what to do. She didn’t feel like a Jedi. Moreover, she wasn’t just a scavenger anymore. All the desire of finding a clear path she had had when she left in the Millenium Falcon to Ahch-to has gone now. She found nothing. She felt empty.

In that darkness, he surged as an echo of her own thoughts. There was no warming from the Force this time, just the feeling of being dragged in mist. He fainted in front of herm, a solid and obscure figure. Rey stands up violently. She could fell the knight, not only with her senses, but also with the distinguishable warmth caused by their connection. Kylo, on the other side of the galaxy, was now a few steps from Rey.

Tall, dark, the alluring scar.

Rey remains unmoved by this Force persuasion attempt. She looked around, fearful that someone could notice her reaction. Her breath was accelerated, his heart beating fast against her chest. She staggered, his hand smote his forehead.

She had once embraced that connection, nurtured by the warmth and comprehension she found after a lifetime of waiting. Rey had been misleading by them and not only made Kylo Ren stronger, but foolish helped him to finish Snoke´s reign, releasing the way for an even more obscure future.

The rising young star of the First Order, Kylo Ren, had emerged from the shadows to seize control of the galaxy.

She had found a fraction of comfort by the idea that they would not be together anymore, she and Kylo, now that the source of their connection was dead. She both desired and fear the intensity of their relation, added by the fact that it will be a complete disaster if he uses her to find their position.

Kylo immediately realized when they were suddenly placed together by the force. He sensed the familiar mist and confusion brought by the bond, blacking them out for a moment. He inspected the surrounds, his browns creased, as searching for some reference. Rey looked around and distinguished the angular and geometric aspect of a First Order quarter. They were obviously in the middle of a meeting, the officer talking to an impassive Kylo Ren.

Kylo took a glace at Rey and ignored her, waving with the gloved hand so the officer could continue the report.

“Our final estimate report indicates that are no more than twenty of them. They will find very hard conditions to influence new allies,” the officer said. “We can assume they are ill-organized and poorly equipped.”

Rey felt the rage igniting in her chest. Kylo Ren had become Supreme Leader Ren. The rumors have reached them in that isolated system, in a wave of desolation and fear. Despite they weren’t able to destroy the Resistance in Crait, First Order still possessed a massive military strength, hundreds of batttlecruisers and millions of troops.

“They are nothing,” Kylo spoke casually, hands behind his back, the voice bored. “We don’t have to worry about this now. Maintain your efforts in the others offensives” he placed his large frame in front of the girl, still ignoring her.

“The possibility of a militarized Resistance is outlying. Besides, we continue to lock all access to supplies,” the officer tone was confident.

“Tell the others to keep the surveillance and notify me if anyone gets contact or join them,” he added. Kylo stole a glance at her and finished the sentence, his tone between familiar and menacing. “Then we will slaughter them all in one offensive.”

“As you command, Supreme Leader,” the officer said. “Should I call General Hux?” there was a detectable discomfort in his voice by the mention of the General. All the graduated officers knew about the constant tension between Hux and the Supreme Leader.

“No,” the tall figure discarded. “I will summon him latter,” he added in a low and controlled voice. Kylo always preferred to keep the unstable General waiting. He dismissed the office with a nodding of the head.

They were left alone, Kylo and Rey, electricity whispering around then like a wave preparing to crash. Kylo crossed the room and placed himself in front of the window, completely ignoring her, as if she was so insignificant that didn’t deserve any attention of him. Rey felt a raw fury rising around her. Here he was, powerful and unconcerned while they struggle to survive, the small group of the remnants rebels that are the only family she knew. The panic she had felt was quickly being replaced by a growing rage.

“So it’s true?” she decided to confront him. “You are the Supreme Leader, now?”

“You are doing this?” he inclined his head, studying the situation. “No, you don’t,” he spoke casually, answering his own question.

The fire in her chest just incresead when he glared at her, condescend and mighty. “Answer me!” she demanded.

He approached her in a slow and dangerous motion, the lightsaber on his waistband awarding her that she didn’t have one anymore. “I do not have to explain anything to you, scavenger,” he added like an insult. She took a step back, assaulted by the fury in his voice. Rey tried to control the darkness rising around her. She would not surrender to dark that easily.

“Why, Ben?” she asked in a lower voice. He could feel the disappointing in her mind.

“Do you expected me to join the Resistance?” he hissed the words. “To be judged like a war criminal and condemned? Is that what you have expected?”

“No!” she defended herself. “You should be with us, ending the First Order forever! Finished this war!” she came within a meter closer to the dark figure. “Do you know how any were killed because you didn’t do what I asked you for?” Her voice was nothing but a whisper by the memory of her failure.

“And what do you think the Resistance would do with Kylo Ren?” he hissed the words as if they were poison. “They would accept me and forget all the crimes they think I committed against them?”

“They did it with Finn,” she remembered. It was a bad choice of arguments. She felt the anger and fury growing around the knight by the mention of the former stormtrooper.

“I don’t care about what they did or not with that traitor,” he replied in a menacing tone. “I don’t care about the soulful ideal of the Resistance. Because I know there is no place for me there,” he concluded.

“And is here where you belong?” she pointed the high cannonry of the First Order.

Kylo didn’t reply. He narrowed his eyes, thinking. Interesting. He realized she was able to see his surrounds. The girl didn’t seem to notice. That was something else, not just the former bridge made by Snoke. He acknowledge the fact ant put it aside, for now.

“If I had left the First Order, many of the leading members would have seized the opportunity to be the Supreme Leader,” he continued. “There will be insurgency, rebellions. They would have destroyed planets and civilizations just to assure their claims, to demonstrate which one was more powerful, until there were just ashes and bones to be reined over the galaxy.”

Rey retreat back. She never thought about what would happen after Ben´s redemption. She was absolutely sure about her vision, guided by her strong belief that it was the only way, guided by the future she saw. At least, what she had interpreted. Now, listening Kylo´s speech, she wasn’t so sure anymore.

“Ben, I…” she tried to talk again about the vision they had and they touched hands, but she was interrupted abruptly by the dark figure.

“Do not address me informally,” he awarded her, the voice cold. “I’ve told you, there is no Ben Solo. Now, there is no Kylo either. Only Supreme Leader Ren.”

He had the time to observe the sorrow and grieve in the girls face before she slowly fainted from his view. One moment later, he was alone. Again. It doesn’t matter now, he decided. He had many things to think about.

Rey was back at her room at the Resistance base. She looked around instinctively, although she was sure that their connection had been closed. Only then she allowed herself to regret.

Luke was right all this time, she admitted with sadness. Desperate thoughts came to his mind with no control. What did she do? Ben Solo had gone, just as Luke´d said. Now, because of her, Kylo Ren had already gone. She helped to create Supreme Leader Ren.

How could she tell the others the consequences of her actions?She went outside, desperate for open space and air, after the claustrophobic meeting in the impersonal First Order quarter. Then, just then, she noticed what had just happened. She was able to see Kylo´s surrounds like never before. Vivid and solid.

She had so many questions and nobody could help her this time. She will have to figure out by herself, find her own path. Rey remembered the rage and disdain she saw in Kylo´s face and that boiled her blood.

He was wrong. She wasn’t anybody. She didn’t come from nowhere. She was Rey and she was from Jakku. She will no more look for mysterious and glorious past. She no long care about finding out who she was. Rey was starting doing things in the way she knew better than anybody else. And she already knows the first thing she has to do.


	2. Chapter 2

For the next days, Kylo was training more hard than usual, desiring for soreness and emptiness, hoping to sleep of exhaustion. He moved the training saber in a last powerful blast and did not just hit the empty space.

Rey moved away from the strike with a quick movement.

She reacted instinctively. They could feel and touch trough the force as they were together, but they could not harm each other. Rey has already tried to shot him with a blaster and despite the weird sensation of been hurt, there was no harm.

She took a while to notice that they were connected again by the Force, not in a real battle.

He turned off the saber, gathering himself in a fluid move. He had the black hair forehead and his breath was haste and intense. Despite the abrupt arrival of Rey, he didn’t look annoyed by the interruption.

The truth was that Rey never knew what to expect from the unpredictable switch of mood of Kylo Ren. The knight passed the back of his head on his forehead to remove the hair of his view. He looked over his shoulder, studying.

“Are you trying to reach me?” he asked in a petulant tone.

“Why would I do this?” she suppressed the urge of hitting him squarely in his chest, knowing it was useless, as could not be harmed. “Snoke said he was the one connecting us,” she remembered. “It should have finish, now he is dead.”

“I think he was lying,” Kylo explained, the voice almost soft. “He may have intensified the bond, not created it.”

“How can you be so sure?” the girl inquired, before she could suppress it. She has no one else to talk about that. At least, no one who wouldn’t say she was crazy.

“I am not,” Kylo confessed. “Snoke could manipulate a dark illusion, but this is something different.”

“Different how?” she asked, intrigued.

“This is not an illusion, and it’s more than keeping us together despite the physical between us,” he hesitated for a while, but continued. “This kind of bond can only be created by two individuals that ultimately connected their minds.”

“I have never done it!” Rey affirmed. “Do you think I wanted to be connected with you?!” she disdained the idea as something accursed.

“Only two individuals significant to each other would allow this kind of ripple through time and space”, he explained, ignoring the caustic tone she used to emphasize the “with you” part.

“Significant?” she was thinking about the meaning of Kylo´s statement. Their knowledge about the connection was quite limited. After all that happened between them, Rey strongly refuses to think that something positive could arise from it.

“Like an apprentice and a master,” Kylo fixed an intense look in Rey, his voice becoming deeper. “Or a dark and a light force sensitive united consensually.”

Rey shook his head, confused. “But we are not none of those!”

“No, we aren’t,” Kylo agreed with Rey, as he rarely did, but Rey was too thoughtful to notice. “This connection is unprecedented in its strength and power.” He dispose the training light saber and turned back to face Rey. “That is why we have to stop fighting this.”

“I don’t understand…” she tested the words. She may or may not gone mad.

“We should embrace this.” Kylo Ren was a conflicted man, hunted by his fierceness. But one thing he always knew, deep inside his tormented soul. Power. Power was the only thing he knows for sure. He will never waste such power.

“Are you insane?!” she almost yelled. Without noticing, she approached him, thinking she had missed something. That was the only reasonable explanation.

“What do you think will happen, if we do it?” he argued. “We are not able to end this. We barely control when it happens and the extension; we are constantly being put together”.

She could see the challenge written in Kylo´s face, each line screaming. “It’s only getting stronger every time we met each other.”

“Why would you want that? It makes no sense,” she accused. “You already got everything!”

“Not yet,” he replied, giving one step closer to Rey. “You know what I want.”

She shrank back from what she saw in those dark eyes, relieved when he fainted slowly from her view.

 

You know what I want. The rough and seductive voice of Kylo echoed in her mind, tormenting her for the next days. Rey seek to achieve the implicit meaning of those words, getting no successful. It was even useless than try to rebuild the lightsaber.Rey decided the first thing she would have to do was to get a new lightsaber. She was clearly aware that the saber was more than a weapon to a Jedi, although she didn’t consider herself a true Jedi. Not in the traditional way, at least.

Having a clear purpose also makes her feel much better, connected again with the real word. Building, savaging, looking for things. That was something she could understand, since she was a little girl, lost in the broken Imperial ships in Jakku.

Nevertheless, it wasn’t easier as she thought. Rey had almost no knowledge about building a lightsaber, only his natural instinct. Her friends in Resistance were trying to rescue all information about his in the old archives, but it was rare to find something useful. Rey considered talking to Maz, the old friend certainly could help, but it was dangerous to use communications, they could be easily tracked by the First Order.

How can I do this?, Rey asked herself, frustrated and wanting to find a different answer, because she knew deep inside there was only one person left to talk about this. Kylo Ren. You know what I want. Rey hesitated, the rough voice repeated in her mind.

The sense of being softly dredged for someone assaulted her. Rey felt dissolved in a familiar presence. She took a deep breath. Before opening her eyes, she already knew whom she would see.

Kylo was at the cockpit of a shuttle, his eyes fixed on the horizon, hands firms on the control. He was concentrated on his task as an experience pilot would be, absorbed by the liberating task, putting all thoughts apart, except maneuvering the shuttle. His thoughts entered in Rey´s mind and she felt his tension. It was easy reach each other mind when they were that close.

“Kylo,” she asked him, knowing it was only a matter of time before the knight senses her presence.

The knight felt the warmth of Rey´s presence at the same time she called his name. He left the command of the shuttle and raised from his seat to face Rey. Not from the first time, she was impressed by how tall Kylo was, the long overcoat reinforcing his imposing frame.

He kept his jaw clenched, looking exasperated by her presence. Rey got a glimpse of his thoughts before he closed himself to force, confusing Rey for a moment. He was going somewhere he didn’t want her to know. He didn’t worry about that the other times they were connected.

Kylo looked around scanning the sides of the room. After a few moments in silence, he decided there was nothing remarkable about Rey´s location; as usual she was in an undefined place, probably a Resistance base in the middle of nowhere.

“It’s just you and me, again,” Kylo said scornful.

“Where are you going?” Rey replied, knowing this would get a rise from the presumptuous knight.

“You know I can’t tell you this,” he pointed. “From now”, he added in a cold tone.

“Then you have a problem, since I can get your coordinates any moment.” At the small movement of the girl, Kylo raised the hand, using the force to push Rey back off the control panel.

“How dare you?!” that infuriated the girl and she retaliated hitting him squarely in the shoulder. He took advantage of her movement to grasp her wrist. Kylo needed one single movement to turn the girl, pressing her back against his chest. Rey tried to liberate herself, but he was now holding tight her both wrists, strong arms around her like a wall.

“Don’t touch me!” Rey demanded, frantic to release herself from the disturbing contact. She could even fell the harshness of his clothes.

“I will, if you be quiet,” he said, ignoring her frantic movements to escape from his arms.

She based her foot on the structure of the ship and strongly pushed her against the muscular body. Kylo took a step back by the strike but sustained the clasp around Rey. He got distracted for a moment, not because of the strike. The girl didn’t notice but her attempts of escaping were only getting her body tighter against Kylo´s. He felt the girl’s hips pressing against him, his own body responding to that closeness in a very inconvenient way.

“Stop!” he ordered, keeping the arms around the girl and holding her wrist. Kylo´s head leaned forward her, reaching her ears. “Believe me, you don’t want know where I was going,” he spoke in a menacing tone. Rey shivered, feeling the hitch of his breath, burning her neck. “Not even in your worst nightmare.”

He turned his head to finish the sentence, pronouncing every word very careful, just a few inches from Rey´s cheeks. She remembered the exact size and complexion of Kylo´s lips and hated herself to dead for the heat rising from her.

“Release me!” she said, desperate desiring he couldn’t sense her feelings trough the force. “You can’t hurt me.”

“Am I hurting you?” he asked in a smooth, lower voice, making her feel something cold twisting in her stomach.

Kylo released one of his wrist and with his free hand waved in the direction of the panel. “I will change my course in progress. We will wait until the connection last. Until then, there is no point of fighting.”

Unexpectedly, he liberated Rey from his arms.


	3. Chapter 3

Rey moved to the other side of the cockpit, anxious for keep as much distance from Kylo as possible. She rubbed her wrists as she could remove the sensation of Kylo´s touch.  It was disturbing the memory of the gloved hands: a mixture of command and need.

“I wish I was not here,” she said to the dark figure.

“I sure you do,” he spoke casually, returning to his seat at the command panel.

Rey walked around the shuttle with no right direction. When she was alone and protected by the distance, she could easily convince her to hate and face him like a mortal enemy. But when they were together, that resolution becomes a spiral of contradictory feelings.

 “What is this ship?” she asked, noticing the laser cannons, the military design and the sensors.

 “My command shuttle,” he answered without facing Rey, concentrated on the holopad. His languid and superior demeanor irritated Rey. That it was not only her fault, after all.

“And you?” she retakes the subject, confusing Kylo for a while.

“What about me?” he sent an accusatory look for the girl, making clear he didn’t want to be interrupted. Most of the members of the First Order trooper would retreat by that tone, suddenly finding other place to go.

“Where would you like to be instead of here?” she asked.

Kylo raised his head from the panel, finally paying attention to her.  He was trying to imagine a life where his destiny hadn’t been determined before he was born. He stared at Rey, blinking slowly as thinking about that for the first time. “I don’t know,” he answered in a vague tone.  

Time was passing slowly in the indefinite space. Rey was annoyed he could be able to act so normal in that situation when she felt her senses overwhelmed by his bare presence. Rey slumped further into the co-pilot seat, sighing loud and dramatically, slightly amusing him.

“Make yourself comfortable,” he invited in an ironic tone.  The girl keeps the arms crossed against her chest, biting the side of her cheeks.

“Why are you so nervous?” he asked. She inadvertently sent his feelings to the knight.

She glanced at him, raising her eyebrows, huffing on purpose. “Cant imagine why?” she replied in a caustic voice.

“No, I can’t,” he said, turning his seat to face Rey. “You have been my guest before.”

Rey stared at him, astonished he was mentioning _that_ in such indolent manner. “Being sarcastic now, Ren?” she provoked.

Kylo fixed his dark eyes in a malicious look, as he could read her thoughts easily. They looked each other for a while and Rey watched him going back to his task. They were in silence again, Kylo keep checking they travels safely and occasionally inspected several elaborated schemes, strongly closing his mind to the force so Rey couldn’t figure out what he was doing.

Despite their initial animosity, now they were… so _normal,_ Rey puzzled.  She had been agitated and worried and exhausted… Now she felt _good_ for the first time in months. She stole a glance in Kylo´s direction. He was concentrated on his work, the eyebrows creased. He passed the fingers in his wavy hair from time to time, to brush the curls from his forehead, distracted.

If only she had been able to preserve him like this. Peaceful, not immerse in the darkness, all that blind fierceness.

_This is so unfair_ , Rey said to herself, sighing loud. How can a dangerous man look so attractive?

 “What is not fair?” the male voice asked, breaking the silence. Rey startled in the seat, scared she had sent her own feelings to Kylo.

“Nothing,” she answered quickly. Too quickly, she noticed. “I mean… that I have to be here, waiting duteous, while the grate Supreme Leader continues his duties,” she added.

“Would you like me to send our position to the Resistance instead, starting a battle you can’t win?” he asked in a scornful tone. “Or to the First Order, perhaps?”

Rey huffed again. “You know I want neither of this, _Ben_ ”, she countered, testing Kylo´s former name, the one she knew he disguised.

Kylo crossed his arms and lifted the strong chin, studying her. She braced herself for another caustic remark.

“Well played, _scavenger_ ” _,_ he said in a petulant, but also appreciative voice, surprising Rey. He finished adjusting the course of the ship and rides from his seat, closing the transmissions of the planes with a dismissive move of the gloved hand.

“Where are we going now?” she inquired, curious about how the knight pretend to spend his time. It was the first time Rey imagined Kylo doing normal things, as a common man. Somehow, it was difficult visualize him like this, especially when he looked so imposing.

“I readjusted the shuttle for an alternative route”, he explained. “I believe it will be enough”.

“And what about the fuel?” the girl questioned.

“About what?” he said in a unconcerned way. “There will be more than enough, even If we decide to delay ….even further."

Rey let pass the challenge implied in Kylo´s words, thinking how it should be not having to worry about trivial things as fuel and food. She followed his movements around the ship, bouncing her foots.

“There are passenger compartments in the shuttle," Kylo was slightly amused by her discomfort. “You can rest, If you want."

“I am not going to _sleep_ next to you, Kylo Ren!”

 “You don’t need to share _my_ bed," he disdained, observing the girl blushing with a secret pleasure. “What are you so afraid of?” he asked in a deep voice, dangerously close to Rey.

“I’m not afraid”, she dismissed. “Can we just talk like regular people, instead of this… mental fight?!” she proposed.

The knight seemed to be considering her words, the hands behind his back. He was wearing the complex attire, long tunic over the pleated black clothes, imposing and confident. 

“I believe we can have an…armistice”, he said. Rey passed the fingers over her face, as if her skin was actually touched by Kylo´s gaze. She felt undressed, with her beige tunic and arm wraps

Kylo seated next to her, his huge frame wrapping everything around Rey in a disturbing closeness. She was intrigued with his soft acquiescence. Once again, she was unable to find any logic and reason in Kylo´s behavior.

Rey avoid looking to Kylo´s eyes, making it look like she wasn’t intimidate by having him so close. Kylo, otherwise, remained facing Rey, his eyes traveled down from her eyes to the lips, and lower, before darting backing to her eyes. She felt all the places he had traced burning under his dark eyes. She bit her cheeks from inside, wondering she would fell the same heat if he actually touches her skin.

 “Do you think this will happen for the rest of our lives?” she asked, making an effort to change the course of his thoughts.

“Perhaps…” he said vaguely.

“Sometimes I fell like... breaking the rules,” she confessed. “As if this was something hidden and obscure.”

“It’s because you are a Jedi," he disdained. “All that nonsense rules.”

“It doesn’t sound natural," she ignored the mockery of Kylo´s voice.

“The Force is connecting us for some reason, it will be unnatural to break of what is intended with…us,” he added in a lower tone.

“What do you mean?” she asked. “That maybe we can never stop this?”

“It will be like… ripping a part of us,” he explained, making Rey more confused than ever. “We could never predict what happens if we do this.”

The tall figure raked in his seat, the movement making an undefined scent spread around her. Rey took a moment to process that warmth thrill. Leather, mint. Rey could almost taste the flavor of the leather in his mouth.  _How can someone smell that good?_

Rey just hoped he couldn’t reach her mind. 


	4. Chapter 4

She observed the surrounds of Kylo´s place, the darkness of a starless night, the relaxing sounds of the perfect flight. She couldn’t avoid admiring the brand-new ship. Rey was able to see this as perfectly as his place at the Resistance base. They were in silent, Rey avoiding look directly to Kylo.

“When you are close to me like this, I fell like being in two places at the same time,” she confessed. “Like If I could really touch you.”

“And do you want this?” he asked without hesitation.

“Stop, Ben.” She gave him a severe look. “Let’s talk about something else, before we start fighting again,” she warned.

“Fine,” he agreed, amused by her short-temper. “What should you be doing now, if we weren’t with me?”

“I am not _with_ _you_ , Ren. You know this,” she wrinkled his nose, but Kylo noticed she was bouncing her foots slowly, as she was more relaxed. “They are probably waiting for me,” she remembered it was almost time for dinner as her stomach ached, although she wasn’t sure if it wasn’t for having Kylo so close to her. 

“What are you being waited for?” he asked, his eyebrows furrowing.  He could sense the hearty feelings rising from the girl, the ties of affection and care.

“It’s almost dinner time,” she explained. It was much better to talk about trivial things than fantasize about the Supreme Leader. “We don’t have much free time, so at dinner we eat and talk, like normal people. It helps us to move on.”  The memory of her friends brought a sense of reality and purpose to Rey. “Sometimes we have some fun together, Poe knows the most stupid plays, and somehow he always manages us to join him.”

By the tenderness of that remembrance, Rey smiled to him. 

It was just a second, by seemed to last forever to Kylo. She walked in light, indifferent to the darkness of a lifetime of sorrow and hurt.  He desired to hold that moment indefinitely, in a world where she would smile only from him.

“Who are _they_?” he asked in a hoarse voice.

 “You know, Finn and Poe or Rose,” she said casually.

“Finn?” he asked in a cold tone, eyes darkening like a storm. He captures the image of the hated Stormtrooper. He clenched his both fists, attempted to alleviate some of his frustration. “You mean the Stormtrooper, FN-2187”.  Kylo was clearly annoyed by her answer, a deep surge of need streaming down the bond, yet he showed no signal of unleashing his power over her.

  _For now_ , she thought.

“He _has_ a name,” she countered. “It’s Finn.”

The dark figures stand up violently. Rey watched his long stripes, the anger rising from his chest, filling in the air between them.

_How could she choose that weak traitor instead of him?_ He could see the ties between the former stormtrooper and the girl, in a way he had never reached, no matter how he had tried. He had killed his former master, offered her a whole galaxy… for nothing. He hated the easiness which the unknown stormtrooper had created such a connection, when the mighty Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader of the galaxy, had failed.

 “Did he told I was there?” he asked maliciously, wondering she would forgive the stormtrooper that easily if she knew the whole history. “The night they massacred the village in Jakku?”

She looks at Kylo´s face: pale skin, eyes narrowed, clench jaw. She could fell the darkness and anger increasing. Rey started to worry about what that untamed power could cause in the reduced space of the ship.

“I don’t care,” she replied. “All I need to know is when the moment has arrived, Finn made the right choice.”

“He did?” Kylo sneered in a cruel tone. He was ware of the sudden of rush of thoughts that joined her. He could read the protective feeling about that _Finn_ , the insignificant man she cares so much, making her fury grown strong.  “Or he was just coward?”

“It doesn’t matter, I would forgive him anyway,” she defended. “He was the first person to care about me, as nobody has ever done! He almost died because of me”, she added.

Kylo summon his lightsaber, the urge of destroying everything in his way, to hit again the stormtrooper in a way he would not survive this time. His entire body was tensing. With a war to break, he should be concerned with other problems, but for some reason, he couldn’t think rationally when they were together.

“Did you question him as you do with me?” The crimson-blade was sparkling, looking even more unstable, the red flow of energy being intensified by Kylo´s rage. “Did he told how many they were that night?” His voice was cruel.

“Stop! Why are you telling me this?” Rey yelled, desperate to run away from the cruelty of his eyes.

“Don’t he remember how they tried to run and they shot them all?” He could sense her fear and felt a measure of satisfaction by this, feeding his power like poison. Rey was about to panic, herself being strongly captured by his darkness.

_Not this time,_ she thought.

“Kylo?”

He turned to the sound of his name. He could hardly believe in the softness of her voice, calling his name. Not Ben, the same he had denied. Not Kylo Ren, the name he had assumed in order to inspire fear, climbing the rank of the Knights of Ren. Just Kylo.

Her heart was pounding in her chest as she watched the knight relaxing the hold in his lightsaber. Unexpectedly, Kylo pinches at the bridge of his nose before drawing his hands behind him. Rey was both relieved and intrigued. The way he acts still perplexes her.

“I…” he stammered, his voice hoarse.

“Shhhhh”, Rey interrupted, moving close to him. “I want to try something. Just be quiet”. Kylo nodded, his head moving the smallest consent, but it was enough for Rey.  “And try not to kill me!” she warned. 

Rey knew each step was more treacherous, as she could feel him more strongly.  The anger, the fury, the beast inside him demanding to be released.

The dark knight watched her moving the small hand toward him. Rey gave one step closer to him. She paused and looked at him, a shiver running down Rey´s spine.  She slowly posed her hand over his chest and everything assaulted her mind in a strong wave, holding her breath: his loneliness, his wounds, the universe of pain and struggle around him. Ben, always studying, desperate to find answers for his increasing power.  The young Ben, mighty and alone, trying so hard to deal alone with all the expectations of his bloodline. 

It wasn’t physical pain, it was worse than that.

They were in silence for a long while, his breath becoming slowly. Then, Kylo stepped forward, his right-hand coming out to hold her. She mirrored his movement, shivering, for he was sure the knight was going to touch her.

Rey felt the touch of the gloved hand, the cold warmth of the leather. He pressed the back of her hand with his thumb, a tender touch. For the first time, they weren’t trying to hurt or kill the other. They were locked in a universe only they could achieve.

She curled her fingers around the fabric of Kylo´s chest, feeling the exact temperature of the male body under the palm of her hand.

Energy flowed thought the spot where they were touching, pulsing with their own blood, creating a new energy. His darkness tempered her insecure soul with courage and boldness. Her light softens the impetuousness of his untamed power.

The girl he couldn’t kill. The man she couldn’t hate.

They were closer than ever. If Rey looked up, she would brush his chin.  She wanted to say something but wasn’t able to find the words. What if this was the last time they saw each other? She wanted to keep the image of that moment, the intimate they have been sharing moments before.

But it was useless. 

Kylo watched her to go away, his body and mind willing desiring to go with her, as the end of the bond separated them once more.

In another system, Rey felt safer after locking herself away in her room, the act of distancing herself both physically and mentally from Kylo helped her to calm down from the storm of feelings they have shared. The dregs of the force bond took longer than usual to disappear and Rey felt nervous to meet her friends.

She knows by Poe and the others that many remained Republic member were surrendering to the First Order without a fight, rather than risk defeat and devastation and by the promises of wealth and power. 

How could she blame them if she was about to surrender herself to the powerful Supreme Leader Kylo Ren with just one touch? Everything in the galaxy was conspiring to make them hate each other, but failing again and again.

Because when they touch each other, they found consolation and peace. 


	5. Chapter 5

“Sir?” a mechanical voice called him from the sensors, cutting the silence left by Rey´s departure. 

“Yes,” he ran a hand through the black hair, tired.

“The squad is read for escort your shuttle, Supreme Leader. Should we send them?”

“Do it,” he said firmly. It was better to end that inspection at once. He had to know for sure Hux´s new strategy. Kylo hated the man with no doubt. He could perfectly read his thoughts of greatness and superiority.  For now, it was better to keep the General close, he decided, adjusting a non-stop route.

He land the shuttle in the hanger with no difficult. Outside the ship, stormtroopers were lined, holding their weapons in order to shoot every one who dares to make an attempt on the life of Supreme Leader. A Lieutenant moved ahead to greet Kylo.

“We have been waiting for your arrival, Supreme Leader,” the Lieutenant said obsequious, directing Kylo toward the platform. “General Hux gave orders to be notified immediately.”

“I’m sure he did,” Kylo said coldly, the troopers following his every step. He walked with authority, strong and confident, sensing their fear, their obedience. In this place, he knows what to do, there was no conflict, no hesitation.  These officers knew nothing of what happened between Kylo Ren and the Jedi. To them, he was still Supreme Leader Ren, an imposing presence, someone not to be questioned.

As the doors shut,  General Hux turned his head, a smile playing at the corner of his lips.

“Supreme Leader,” he saluted formally, in a disguised irony. “We were starting to worry about our delay.” Kylo noticed that the General didn’t use “sir” at the end of the sentence. There was no one Kylo trusted less than the red-haired man.

Hux was even paler than Kylo, stern in the black-clad uniform. Kylo have to use all his strength to not kill the man every time they see each other, they both despised and suspicious.  

Kylo could see the man´s thoughts with no difficult, he barely had to use the force. Kylo Ren was moved by fear and rage. Hux was fed by ambitious, making him much more dangerous than Kylo. Those idiots in Resistance weren’t able to see these implications.

Addressing firmly to the General, Kylo demanded. “I was informed you have a demonstration arranged.” He knows it wasn’t true, the General´s schedule was delayed. The man remained firmly, his manners confident. But Kylo could see his thoughts perfectly, like he intended to by provoking him.

“We have some…unlooked-for issues, Supreme Leader,” the man answered in a petulant tone. They both know that Kylo´s order have completely changed the project.  “The original plans were much more advanced,” Hux added, the disapproval clearly implied.

Kylo stared at the other man, keeping his face as blank as his rage allowed. Kylo Ren wasn’t sure for how long they will be able to hide their mutual despising. It was only a matter of time until they stop cooperating with each other and slice the First Order.

 “I am not Snoke,” he warned. “I will not command bones and dust, General,” Kylo said in a cold tone, slightly using the Force to threat the other man. He saw the General gasping uncomfortable, desperate to keep his confident manners.  He knows the General despised his dark powers, over-confident of his strategy and technology.

“As you command, Supreme Leader,” the General said, spitting out the words to see where they splatter.

“I will inspect the entire installation of the _Annihilation,_ ” Kylo insisted, ignoring the ginger-man discomfort. “I am familiarized with the technical specifications, I already see the planes during the flight.”

The doors opened with a soft hoosch and Kylo marched to the corridor, followed by the General.  _At least, part of the planes_ , he admitted to himself, trying to put the thoughts about the last bond with the girl apart while they walked down the long corridor.

 

Going on board the _Millenium Falcon_ makes Rey feel better. It was as the time had not passed there. It always seems to Rey that ship had the power to not absorb chances before a slow and deep consideration.

The interior of the ship was colder and still. Chewbacca was there and greeted Rey in his own guttural and simple language, which also makes Rey feel better. There, with the strong wookie, there were no complex and exhausting conversations.

 “What are you doing, Chewie?” she asked in a soft voice. The mourning for the death of Han still accompanied them both sometimes, in a silence agreement.

The wookie explained to the girl the repairs they should be doing in several devices. The old ship was still suffering the damage of the brutal battle in Crait. They worked in silence for a while and Rey felt a great measure of satisfaction, a glimpse for her former life in Jakku, the sensation of triumph she felt when she was able to savage some that  was once broken.

 “Chewie?” she called at some point. “Have you know Ben before he…you know…became Kylo Ren?” Weird, but they never talked about that before.

The wookie mumbled his answer under the panel control he was fixing. Yes, he had known Ben when he was younger. Sometimes, Ben was left with him in the _Falcon_ , just like they were now. They spent many hours discussing about flight and ships, diverging about everything.

Rey smiled by the image of a younger Ben, arguing with the wookie, already stubborn and short-tempered.  His hair was as dark as it was now? His jawline strong as the grown Kylo´s?

She was dazed about the course of her thoughts. Rey couldn’t believe it will be a time when she didn’t hate him, when she didn’t regret tried to save him from the dark. She even though that Kylo had the ability to influence her feelings and emotions, as he was far more trained than Rey.  The warmth and tender she felt when she was thinking about him it was like a language she does not understand.

At night, she was nervous around other people, dreading and hoping to see the dark knight again. Every time her thoughts drifted towards him she scolded herself. And every time she woke alone, she was deeply disappointed on the inside.


	6. Chapter 6

In the formal and rigid quarter back of the First Order, an austere Kylo Ren was listening the endless speech of the ambassador.  Kylo was wearing the uniform of the First Order and the black tabard, in contrast with the flashy garment of the other man.

“We wish nothing but facilitate cessations of hostilities and the expansions of friendly relationships,” the man was saying, a speech which no meaning at all. At least, it was how Kylo had interpreted. Nevertheless, he couldn’t deny hearing it. The ambassador came from one of the Unknown Regions under the colonization of the First Order. 

“I am aware of your…collaboration,” Ren said, interrupting the boring speech. He was also aware of the large sum of credits involved, he said to herself ironically.

“Indeed, Supreme Leader,” the ambassador replied. “There are many factions we can pressure. These factions will favor a strong central government.”

“Specially a high military and armed one, I suppose,” Kylo added in a cold tone, the face as impassive as he was using the mask again.

“Well…we long admired the Old Empire leaders and practices,” the ambassador admitted. “And now that we are informed that the grandson of the Lord Vader is the new Supreme Leader...” the man was anxious to please the powerful leader.

“This is not the Empire,” Kylo counted. “We will bring a new order to the galaxy, not old and dusty failed practices.”

“We are quite sure of that, Supreme Leader,” the ambassador made a calculated pause. “Although, I must say, the First Order´s recruitment methods have been seen differently by the galaxy in large.”

Kylo looked over to the ambassador, his jaw was drawn tight, fist clenched where it rested on the table. The other man moved uncomfortably in the chair.

“I don’t need to remember that the troopers came from poor and impoverish worlds, left defenseless by the New Republic,” he stands up from his seat in a strong movement, scaring the ambassador. “The have no prospect in life and we gave them one when they joined the First Order.”

“Of course, Supreme Leader, its just…”

Kylo turned back to the man, cutting his arguments. “They will escort to your quarters, ambassador.”  At Kylo´s words, the Stormtroopers came with in. The man slipped away from the room, aware of the temper tantrums of the powerful leader.

Alone, Kylo posted in front of the open glazed area, observing the militarized movements of droids and the troopers. The sense of order and organization disguised his thoughts.  Kylo´s lack of focus was evident, as he spent many hours thinking about the girl.

He felt nothing but humiliation when she had rejected his proposal. That was his worst and deepest nightmare becoming true. After a life of solitude and fear, he found someone as powerful as he was, just to be rejected again. He was ready to burst and kill everyone in the path.

He felt that again in the last time they were connected, torturing himself by the idea of being disfavored by an unknown stormtropper.

Kylo could have burned down the galaxy with his rage, that moment. But the girl did the last thing he had had expected. She touched him. Softly. Fearless.  And he finally realized the reason he had been so tenacious about the girl.

As strong as the pain he knows to the bone, he felt a desire inside him he didn’t even know he had.

He pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing. He wasn’t supposed to feel that way. He has a war to break, a galaxy to run.  Since that day, they hadn’t connected by the Force. Kylo started to think it was better this way.

But the one line he heard in his head was Rey´s voice calling his name.

 

Rey busied herself for the next days helping Chewie to repair the Falcon, trying to push away the feeling of missing the connection with Kylo. Her nights and days went on in a pattern until Kylo stopping become a daily thought and Rey almost forgot she had the power to be connected with the Supreme Leader of the First Order. 

But that night, Rey felt the gentle and warm hum reached her.

Rey  blinked, feeling the world begin to spin and once again she felt like she had no control over her own body. After some lonely nights, she felt again the distant echoes of Kylo´s force through the galaxy. Mighty, powerful.

Rey kicked the sheets away and got up from the bed, scanning the surrounds. She felt her conscious and body being divided to fit both her world and Kylo´s. 

She was in exactly the same place she’d been trying to escape from for weeks. On a ship, light years away, in the shadow of a planet, Kylo turned to face her. For a moment, he took the time to recognize the pain of the unfulfilled desire falling away, hoping she didn’t pick up on how pleased he was by this. 

Rey sensed their feelings blending together, she couldn’t say where what she felt ended and where Kylo’s emotions started.

 “You don’t look comfortable,” the knight said.

“I am fine, aren’t you?” Rey purposefully kept his eyes on the room around them and not on the tall and dark man next to him. A smell drifted through the air and Rey realized it was Kylo´s scent. Leather and mint, stronger than she remembered.

_Damn it_!, she cursed herself, closing herself to the Force so he couldn’t achieve her disturbing thoughts.

“Just…” Kylo stopped what he was about to say. “We can’t wander in the middle of nowhere the whole night,” he argued in his usual bored tone.

“There is nothing I can do about this,” she replied, his senses overloading by having him so close again.

“We must choose a place to be.”

“I’m not sure it will be possible,” she hesitated, disbelief in her voice.

“Me neither. But  we can touch each other through distance and time,” he answered. This time, Rey blushed.

She remembered the first time they touched each other trough the force. Just their fingers touched for a brief moment but it was so strong, so real. They both felt like they were in the very same place and moment, although there were uncountable planets between then.

“And how are we supposed to choose a place?” she questioned the tall figure. “I will not stay an entire night in a First Order ship or… whatever you are.”

“Why not? I quite sure it will be far more comfortable than a rebel base in the middle of nowhere, full of people desperately trying to kill me.”

“I can say the same!” Rey argued, throwing his arms exasperated. “I don’t think I should be welcome in a First Order place.”

“Nobody will harm you in my stateroom. I can assure you that.”

“How can you be so sure?” she insisted.

“Because," Kylo said with a cold, calculated pause "I would not allow it. I am the Supreme Leader, commander of the First Order,” he remembered. “Every person and machine in this place has to obey my orders.”

Rey hissed and wrinkles her nose at him by the demonstration of power.

“I can’t do this,”  she explained to the knight, waving her head. “Not for now. Perhaps someday…" she stopped, deciding it was better not to phrase this: that maybe they would live with the connection for the rest of their lives .

“Fine,” Unexpectedly, the knight agreed with her. “Describe to me where you are. You don’t have to tell me the exactly position,” he explained, when realized his disagreement. “Just a general idea, something to focus on.”

She decided to follow his instructions, tired of all that discussion. Rey closed her eyes, inhaling deeply. _Perfect!,_ she said to herself. There she was, being taught by the Darksider. The fact is that despite all her arguments, Kylo was right. In a few seconds, they start to share the same place, to fell the same atmosphere.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, we have seen a lot of bed-sharing. But can we get enough of this?? I certainly cant!

As usual, Kylo Ren was all in black:  long and dark tunic, heavy cowl, even the leather gloves. How could he think about sleeping in that costume? Rey tought. He will be sweating in minutes with all that cover.

“Well… here we are.” She has no idea of what she was supposed to say. She spent so many lonely nights in Jakku, and she did not use to have company in her tiny room at the new Resistance base. Especially not this kind of company. The most dangerous man in the entire galaxy... Strong, tall, bad-tempered  and dark handsome.

He felt the Jedi´s embarrassment and found that curious. Was she still afraid of him after all that time? Or that was something else? The knight tried to reach her toughs but got lost in the girl´s mind, just how it happens when he tried to interrogate her. She was so innocent… How could someone suffer, have such a hard life and continue with that kind of innocence? Such a young woman…

When he was close to Rey, he starts thinking about the female body against yours. He imagined himself leaning down to reach her lips, as he was far taller than the girl was.

“Kylo? Why are you staring me like this?” she inquired the dark figure.

He was looking to her lips fixedly, wondering if she would resist him. Does he have the strength to not use the Force to make her accept his touch? It was something he had never considered before. There was no woman in the galaxy that could resist him. And no woman he has ever desired.

One more step and he could corner the girl between the wall and his own body. His gaze moved down, slowly, observing the female body with a delayed consciousness of pleasure.

“Are you thinking about …” she moved away from the massive muscular body. “No way!! This is not going to happen, ever!”

“You don’t have to remember me of this,” he tried to disguise. _Damn it!!_ He had thought about it very loud and completely forgot to close himself. “But keep in mind I am a man, if you didn’t notice before. Not just a creature in mask.”

“Sure!”  she rolled her eyes, ironically. “And you are a completely normal man, aren’t you? Not the Supreme Leader Kylo Ren.” He liked  how that sounds in her voice. Dark thoughts about her calling his name came to his mind.

“Ok, _that´s_ enough, Ren!” she accused him. “We can’t go anywhere and he have to find a way to sleep, at least while the Force keeps connecting us.” Rey marched to the bed and lay down backwards to him. “You can go wherever you want. Go… rule something, if you prefer!”

She fells his strong presence through their connection indicating he still was in the room. Suddenly, she felts the mattress moving down under the height of the man’s body.

She holds her breath in anticipation trying to imagine if this bed would be large enough to both of them. Moreover, what could happen if it wasn’t that large?

After a long time, she stops holding her breath. The knight was absolutely quiet and immobile. How could someone be so contradictory?

“Ben?” surrendering to curiosity, she called him by his birth name, trying to keep her voice down. As she gets no response, she turned herself to face him.  There he was, an enormous man, all in black, lying next to her.

“Are we going to keep like this the whole night?”  she insisted after getting no reply of the knight.

“Like what?” he answered, suspicious. He was not asleep but staring the ceiling.

“In silence. Are we not going to talk to each other?”

“I quite sure you will not let this happen,”  he replied, ironic.

“Ok, so I’m going to ask you a question and _this_ time you have to give me an answer.”

He roused his eyebrows inquisitively. “Are we really going through this again?” He was thinking about their second force bond, when she insisted on knowing  why he killed his father.

“No. This is a different question.” _Because you will never give me that answer,_ she tough sadly.

“Fine. Let me think about it,” he tried to look bored, but not sure if he succeeded.

“Have you ever kissed someone?” she didn’t´ expected his consent. 

“You mean…” he turned his gaze in her direction, surprised. That it was not the kind of question he was expecting. Not in a billion years. He tried to figure out if someone has ever asked him this kind of intimate matter.

“Not a mother or a friend kiss. But… you know...a different kind of  kiss.”

“A different kiss? You _do_ know why a man kisses a woman, don’t you?” he couldn’t resist teasing her, not when she looked so innocent. 

“Of course I do!” she replied indignant **.** And there it was, that red in her cheeks. Just how he expected.   **“** Well, I have a guess, at least,”  she hesitated.

_Hell if you know._ Kylo thought, amused with the innocence in her brown eyes.

_“_ So, are you going to answer me or not?” she insisted.

 “No, I haven’t,” he admitted after a while in silence, looking again to the ceiling, hoping it was enough for her.

“Why not?” she asked, her voice softly.

He looked troubled. “Even you must noticed. People are afraid of me. I could always felt how they are uncomfortable next to me. It was the same way with …girls, when I was young and foolish enough to desire this kind of relationship.” He could lie to her.  But for the very first moment they met each other he was incapable of lying to this girl.

“What do you mean?” she inquired.

“They used to avoid me, feeling my anger, my powers.” He stopped for a moment, remembering the awkwardness and solitude he felt. “The other half desires me because of my rank and position. That was beneath me,” he concluded, as if this was an undignified issue.

“That can’t be true,” she contested. “Sure, now you _are_ scaring, but I don’t think everybody has always been afraid of you.”

“Have you forgotten I know your thoughts?” he dismissed the girl. “I saw the fear in your eyes when we first met. I still remember your look in that damn forest.”

“I was afraid of you,” she recognized. “But it was not just because you look so terrifying.”

“What was then?”

“I was terrified because you look so terrible and….even so, I wanted you to take me away. I was trying to run, from everything, and found you.” He stared at the girl, trying not to look as surprised as he was, the voice trapped in his chest by the confession.

“Will you ask me?” she continues.

“Ask you what?” he seemed confused.

“If I have ever kissed someone,” she said simply.

“No. I will not ask you,”  he gives her a cold look. Kylo was trying to figure out why in galaxy she thought this was a safe conversation to have with him in a bed.

“Why not?” she demanded, finding the knight shyness inconsistent with his usual confident manner.

For a moment, he had visions about this girl in another man´s arms. That luminous woman in some other man´s arms. How could she choose any other man and reject him? Kylo felt all the rage inside him starting to engine, burning everything inside him.

“Because I don’t want to know,” he looked again to her, ferocity in her dark eyes, the voice even deeper. “Because when I think about you and that traitor Stormtrooper ...” he stopped the line, raising the bed in an abrupt movement, his gloved hands closed.

“If I ever find out that he or that pilot has touched on you, I will hunt them down and kill them in the most painful way that exists.”

Rey looked at the man´s back astonished. “Ok, _that_ was scaring,” she said, after a discomfort silence. “How am I supposed to sleep next to you now?!”

With an exasperated groan, Kylo thought that she was the most impossible girl in the galaxy. He returned to bed, determined to keep as most distance as it was possible.  
they could never predict how long the connection would last, perhaps it will end soon.

“Just. Sleep.Rey.”

Her heart beat fast when she heard Kylo´s voice. He almost never uses her birth name. Girl. Scavenger. You. Rey from Jakku. But not Rey. For a moment she allowed herself to think about them, pretending they weren’t a Jedi and a Darsider. Just Kylo and Rey.

 

In the morning, the masculine scent was the first thing she recognized. While her consciousness was passing from deep sleep to awakening, she inhaled the smell of leather and mint. The scent match Kylo´s personality, it was strong like him.

She was both afraid and curious, the sound of the breath of the knight besides her, the crimson light of the dawn casting reflections across the room. How did he look when asleep? Was he still scaring during her sleep? Or he would look peaceful like any other man?

Slowly and silently, she turned herself to him. Kylo Ren. Breathing heavily, completely disarmed. The scar she had given to him crossed the pale face, hiding it to his black clothes. 

Just as he thought, all that cover wasn’t suitable for this atmosphere. His black hair, always impeccable, strayed in his sweat forehead. In spite of that indolent mess, or precisely because of that, Kylo was even more handsome.

The memories from Kylo in the hated interrogating room flowed from her mind.  Kylo took off his helmet in an arrogant move and she was surprised by his manhood. She first noticed the intense gaze, a look devastating her bare soul. The second thing she noticed was Kylo´s dark hair.  All that shine wavy hair was inconsistent with the conception she had about Kylo Ren.

She moved his hand slowly, deeply tempted to smooth the curl of dark hair. She had to use all her strength to stop as this should be awfully intimate.

“More intimate than sleeping together?” the male voice asked her, hoarse by the awakening.

She pulled back, shocked. “I thought you were sleeping! I can’t trust in you, can I?”

“That is not my fault. You were thinking very loud,” he leaned himself with the elbows. “I could hear you. You were thinking about me,” he said staring at her with dark eyes.

Rey hissed but didn’t argue. It was useless to deny it since they were strongly connected, even more when they were distracted. And she was completely distracted staring the Supreme Leader. 

“I have to go now.” She got up from the bed, determinate to put some distance between them. It was awkward enough to be in the same bed with him for sleep. There was no need to keep doing this when they were both awake. “Wait!” she realized it was later than usual. “What time is this?”

“Late enough for people start wondering what happened to me,” he answered serious.

“I thought you were supposed to wake up later. Is it not a prerogative of the Supreme Leader?”  Rey mocked him. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, looking so normal that Rey hardly believe she has spent the night with the Supreme Leader of the First Order.

“It is not,” he amended. “I am the commander, I have duties to attend to.”

“I suppose even the commander has to sleep, it´s not the ruin of the galaxy.” Stars, he was so presumptuous!

“I am not a normal commander,” he pointed. “And… I don´t sleep much.” He ran the fingers through the hair and stood up. “This was…atypical of me.”

Rey was about to ask why he didn’t sleep but something in his voice intimidated her. She felt he would not talk more about this.

“So… I guess the bond won’t last when we leave this room.” Rey would never admit, but she both wishes and hated to put him away.

“No, I don’t think it will.” Kylo was already upstanding, serious and intent. “For now,” he concluded in an unsearchable tone.

 “Do you think we will meet each other again?” she decided to ask him, before leaving. “That the Force will keep bringing us together?”

“I do,” his gaze was intense, the voice deep.

“Than...Perhaps… I will see you later, Kylo Ren.”

“Perhaps, Rey from Jakku.”

Rey walked to the door, forcing herself to leave the room.  She was determined to not look back but it was stronger than she was. However, the dark figure wasn’t there anymore.


	8. Chapter 8

During the rest of the day, Rey tried not to think about what happened. Her new friends, this fragile family, will never accept it. Not that was her fault, she had no control of this… connection, bond, whatever.

But she felt guilty.

She was confused and guilty, because even they were enemies to death, she never felt like this with anyone else. It was difficult for her to focus. She listens what people were saying but started to think about Kylo´s voice, instead of paying attention to them. The deep, dark and seductive voice, like something she has never heard before.

How could she tell what happened? _Finn, Poe, Rose…  I have a private connection with Supreme Leader Ren. We can reach each other through the galaxy. And no, I didn’t kill him. Don’t ask me why. General Organa, your son still is the most handsome man in the entire galaxy._

“Rey?” Finn called her. “Are you ok?”

She smiled at her friend, the first she has ever had. Rey admired most of the people of the Resistance. They were brave and intense, restless in the fight. But Finn continued to be her closest friend. And she was hiding things from him…

“Yes, I am. Why do you ask?”

“I asked twice if you are going to go with me and Rose in the next mission. You didn’t answer me.” As usual, he looks almost childlike. It was impossible to guess he used to be a First Order soldier.

“Mission? Out of here?” Rey was insecure. They finally start to have some kind of control over the force bond. It will continue to happen in other’s people presence? 

“Rey…”  he rolled his eyes, exasperated. “We have been talking for this the entire morning!” Despite all his initial hesitation, Finn finally had found his path in the Resistance. He now looked confident and a little bold.  “It will be a mission for medical supplies, found some allies that might help us. I volunteered myself and Rose is coming with me. What about you?”

It was the kind of dangerous but regular missions they have at the Resistance. They were trying to create a new Base in this planet and the lack of structure was worrisome. Rey had helped in some of those missions. 

But… going with Finn and Rose… She liked very much the tinny girl, honest and brave. It just that… Rose obviously was in love with Finn. The former Stormtrooper was still trying to figure it out what to do about this, which was also lovely. Somehow, it felt Rey feel lonely.

“What about Poe?” she asked, referring to the skilled pilot of the Resistance. “Is he going too?”

“No, Rey. This isn’t a battle mission. It has to be quickly and undetectable. As you know, this not exactly fits in Poe´s style.” Finn was having some fun with the displeasure of his friend. He was the best pilot of the Resistance, but this time he will have to let in other hands. And patience was not his best virtue.

She wasn’t able to dismiss her friend, so she accepted the mission. The shuttle was ready to go in a few hours and, suddenly, there was no reason to postpone the departure. Rey tried not to think about Finn and Rose reaction if they find themselves in the middle of nowhere with Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, commander of the First Order, Master of the Knights of Ren.

 

A couple of days later, Rey figured out that her fears were excessive. There was no signal of Kylo or the force bond. She expected each night in a growing anxiety, but nothing happened. In the silent of the night, she hated herself for the sorrow she felt by his absence.

Once, she dreamed about him and it was so real she could swear he had been there. She even breathed the familiar scent of leather and mint. But it was just a dream, as she didn’t sense anything more.

Despite her confusion, the mission was doing fine. They got a certain amount of medical supplies and, in a lucky strike, an excellent supply of portion. It was not real food, but it will provide them for a while. It was so nice to have good news after all their problems that they almost forgot they were in war. Almost. The suffering was clearly perceptible to all of them. There was an uncomfortable silence in the crowd.

How can a place be full of people have this kind of deep silence?

Rey was sensitive to this overwhelming silence and sorrow and wondered if this was the reason she couldn’t fell Kylo´s presence. The Force didn’t connect them since she left the Resistance base. Or perhaps it was because of the warmth of her friends. Rose and Finn were happy to be together, Rey could feel their joy.

Not that she was jealous of him. She loves Finn as a brother, a loyal and dear friend. It was such a good thing, that Finn and Rose have found some consolation in each other. But still, it hurts Rey. She often caught herself imagining how should be. Find someone to share a life, days and nights, worries and pleasures.

“We will be there soon,” Rose announced, her friendly voice. “They will all be relieved. The supplies we got will be extremely helpful.”

“Indeed they will,” Finn agreed. “I hope they have some good news too.”

“What are you thinking about?” Rey asked him.

“General Organa will try to reach some other allies to the Resistance. We desperately need this.” Finn explained, serious. He even lowered his voice as if they were being watched.

“Let’s hope they succeed,” Rose touched Finn´s arms, tenderness in her face.

Rose wasn’t a pilot like Poe but managed the small shuttle safety to the base. When they arrived, the remaining technicians run to start the repairs. _It was_ good to be back, Rey thought.  Poe lifted her in a warm hug.

“Hey, pals!! It’s so nice to have you back!” He has the usual gaiety in the strong voice. Finn and Poe shake hands, like old friends. “How the little Rose flied?” He always makes some fun about others flying abilities.

“As you can see, we all survive. And we have good news,” Rose answered, proudly. She was also trying to build a new life in the Resistance. 

“Rey, the General -  Leia wants to talk to you,” Poe informed. “She demanded to be informed of your arrival as soon as possible. She is waiting for you.”

Without hesitation, Rey marched to the General Organa´s private room. She have a mixture of admiration and maternal feeling for the legendary Princess Leia, now General of the Resistance.

“Rey…” the strong and small woman hold Rey in a soft hug as she entered the Princess private rooms, as if they didn’t ‘see each other for many, many years. It makes tears come to Rey´s eyes. So this _is how you feel when you have a mother?_?

“How are you?” the Princess studied the girls face, searching for something.

“We are all fine. The mission was …”

“I am not asking because of the mission.” Leia sat down and brought Rey next to her. “I felt something - something strong,”  she explained.

“What do you mean?”

“It was more like a disturbance, strong in its anger,” the woman hesitated. “I think it was… Ben. My son.” The Princess always sounds sad when she talked about her son. She almost never did it. Somehow, she knew she could do this with Rey. 

“Do you think he has found us?” Rey asked alarmed, eyes wide.

“I don’t know for sure. That is why I concerned. And I quite sure you are the person who can discover more about his matter.”

“Me?” Rey raised in one quick movement,  as If she had been caught doing something  wrong.  “No – no- I don’t think…”

“My dear…” the Princess interrupted, her eyes soft and shinning. She approached the girl and Rey felt once again the mixture of kindness and authority. “You can tell this apart for everyone else, except for me. I am his mother, as you know.”

“I can’t understand…” Rey seemed confused by the change of subject.

“When someone says his name, you hold your breath,” the woman explained to Rey. “I can see the fear in your eyes and I can say you are not scared of him. You don’t want hear that he is hurt or dead.”

“General Organa, I don’t know for sure what is happening but I can assure you that I loyal to the Resistance,” Rey tried to explain.

“I know you are,” she holds Rey´s hand again. “But it’s my obligation to warn you. Ben is... brilliant, always been. And he can be very seductive when he wants,” Leia gave her a very female look.She was a woman, after all, and she was able to see some familiar feelings in the girl’s eyes. "But he is also very powerful, remember that.”

“I will,” Rey promised. “I have to go now, If you don’t need me anymore.”

Leia waved her head, dismissing the girl. For a while, the girl remembered herself in the youth. She sighed with those memories. It was a long time ago and yet…she still remembers.

Rey left the room disturbed about the conversation. That disturbance seemed to have happened in the same period she dreamed about Kylo. Could the First Order find another way to track they again? And that mean they were on the way?

There was a way to find out what was happening. She must try to connect with Kylo again. All those days she rather feared that, but now she could manage to be alone at night. She still doesn’t know the reason, but the connection was stronger at night. Perhaps it was the moment they were more relaxed and not defensive. Perhaps they call for each other in silence, in a language only they could understand.

Back in her small room, she sat quietly, trying to concentrate on her breath. Feel it – it was Master Luke used to say. Know she had found out by herself,  how to give a clear path to her force- with a little help of Kylo, she has to admit.

She was now suspended from her own body in a mist. Then solidified again in a completely different place. She felt the strong presence of a man, his anger, fury and also… pain. She opened her eyes ant tried to focus again but before she did it she already knew they were together again. Only one man in the galaxy has that strength.

“Kylo?” she asked carefully. They have not talked to each other for some nights and she wasn’t sure that the Supreme Leader of the First Order will enjoy her abrupt arrival.

The dark knight sustains himself with the gloved hands in a desk, back to her. His head tilted down just as the strong shoulders.  As usual, he was wearing the complete attire, long tunic and the heavy cowl. The cap was lowered and she could recognize that black hair anywhere.

“Not a good moment,” he answered her.

“Well, when did it happen in a good time?” she insisted, ignoring his attempts at removing himself from her sight. “I have to talk to you,” she pressed, her voice soothing.  As she got no answer back, she approached. She was going to touch the man´s arm when he turned to face her.

“Ben…” she said again, his voice quavering.


	9. Chapter 9

“Ben, what happened?” Rey insisted. The knight looked furious, his face covered with dust and blood. She was quite sure it will be same in the rest of his body. She just doesn’t know if it was his blood or someone else’s blood. “You have to sit down!” she pushes him in a chair.

He protested weakly, not enough to make the stubborn scavenger to get away. After all, that was the kind of thing she was really good at: salvage things.

“Tell me what happened,” she pressed, kneeling on the floor in front of him, studying the pale face, the messy hair. “Are you hurt?”

“I had to lead an attack personally,” he explained in a rough voice. “The situation got worse than we had thought,” he used the free hand to remove the hair from his view. “I don’t know yet if we did the wrong analysis or… “ the masculine jaw got stiff.

“Or what?”

“I was put in that situation on purpose,” he muttered under his breath, so furiously that something cold floored down in Rey´s spine.

“How many, Ren?” she inquired, the voice low.

He hesitated to answer her. He didn’t want to give her that kind of information. It was not because of the military implication. It’s just that… he doesn’t want to see the horror in her face. She will call him a monster, again. Just for tonight, he wishes he could be free of this.

“Kylo?” she insisted.  

“If you think I am the worst in the galaxy, you are blind and naïve,” he assaulted her. “Don’t think the First Order is alone. There are battles far worse that you had seen in your entire life,” he tried to get up from the chair, but his face twisted in a scowl.

“Kylo, stop!” she supported him back to the chair. “You must have dislocated your shoulder or broke some ribs. Don’t you have medical droids in this damn…” she looked around. “Where are we, anyway?”

“In my private room, in the main dreadnought of the First Order.”

“Oh, no!” she flushed. “That is _not_ appropriate.” She was supposed to get used to being alone with Kylo at this point. But she wasn’t. She still felt intimidated by his masculine presence.

When she was younger in Jakku, she had heard stories about what a man could do to a woman. And Kylo was so…manlike.

“I suppose it’s not,” he replied in a cold tone. “But I didn’t exactly invite you, did I?” He rested against the chair, trying hard to control his pain. He had already being worse than that in all those years of training and battles. But this time he was just so tired. His eyelids were about to close any moment.

“Are you not going to call someone, some…thing to assist you?” Rey asked worried.

“No,” he replied. “I don’t need it.”

“Don’t be so stubborn! You need help to put your shoulder back, at least.”

“I am not going to call for medical droids,” he insisted. “I have to figure out what happened here before someone knows I´m…vulnerable,” he admitted, unwillingly. There was no place for weakness in the First Order. If you are not strong enough, you do not deserve to be there.

She considered the situation for a while, the knight getting more pale than usual. There were no bounders in their relationship anymore.  

“I can do it for you,” she offered. They were always in an indistinct and disorderly situation.

“You?” he turned to look at her.   

“I can do this. I have injured myself many times in Jakku,” she walked next to him.

“You know you will have to touch me, don’t you?”

“Let’s do it quickly, ok? Before I change my mind.” He nodded and the girl approached to him.

She would never admit, but she _was_ nervous about the idea of touching Kylo´s body. And to be honest, it was not easy as she thought. There were so many fabrics around Kylo, it was impossible to find where to hold his shoulder. She moved around him, not knowing how to start.

“What?” he asked, noting the girl biting her lower lip, the red spreading in her cheeks. “You look uneasy for someone who knows what to do,” he disdained the girl.

“It’s just… there are so many clothes!” she explained, irritated by the defiance tone he used. “I can’t even find your shoulder.”

“That is not an appropriate request by a young woman,” he pointed, sounding malicious to Rey.    

“Don’t try to be funny, Ren,” she warned him. “It does not suit you.”

“I take my cowl off, it is that what you are trying to say.” He starts to take the cape out, but his movements were slow and limited by his shoulder.

“Let me help you with this or we will never finish it,” Rey snorted and took out the fabric of Kylo´s hands, before he could refuse. She removed the layers of harsh fabric around Kylo´s neck.

She finally passed the cowl by his head, her fingers touching Kylo´s hair during the movement. She was surprised by how soft the dark hair was, as enticing her to explore.

“What is wrong now?” he asked, instigated by her suddenly silence.

“Nothing,” she replied quickly. Too quickly. “I think you have to…”  she cleared his throat. “I mean… it will be better if you take off the tunic. The overcoat, I mean,” she explained in a confused tone.

The knight raised up silently, tall and dark, and starts removing the leather belt of the long tunic. Calmly, very quietly. He dropped the belt on the ground and the abrupt sound startled her. For a moment, that looked too long for Rey, he keeps staring at her.

She tried to keep her face blank, but she could feel her eyes widening. She could not even breathe, while the knight starts to open the robe on the top, looking across at Rey, capturing her on those dark eyes. Finally, he interrupted the gaze and turned back to her.

Rey realized he was suggesting her to finish removing his tunic. It was reasonable since he wasn’t able to move his shoulder.

Yet, she swallowed, although her throat wasn´t dry.

The girl got closer to him and started removing Kylo´s tunic. She descended her fingers to his arms, removing the dark attire. Rey could feel the layers of muscle under her palm and she took a while to remember what they were doing.

“Its better for me to sit down,” he explain as she was passing the tunic by his gloved hands.His voice was soft, dangerous close to her.

“Make as you wish," she tried to look natural, not sure she had succeeded.  She dropped the dark attire on the floor and waited for him to sit down again. Rey touched Kylo´s shoulder and felt the hardness of his muscles under the rough clothe.  

 He was still wearing the pleated waistcoat and black shirt, but Rey wouldn’t ask him to remove _that_ too. All the rest was more than enough for her.  

Rey couldn’t remember of being so closed to anyone, in such a physical way. She marveled the way her hands looked small over Kylo´s chest. She had never thought about a man before. She was too concentrated on survive and waiting for… what she has been waiting for so long? Rey couldn’t remember anymore.

“Do you need a map or something?” he asked.

“What?” Rey removed her hand off the male body as if she had been shocked.

“To find my shoulder, I mean,” he sounded malicious again. “You seemed distracted.”

“Don’t rush me, Ren! You want your arm back, don’t you?” She concentrated herself in finding a spot in his arm to hold. She knows she will have to do it in a quick and single movement or it could get worse.

“I will have to hold myself against your body, ok?” Rey explained to him.

“I think you have done it before,” he replied resentful.

“You.are.a.impossible.man!” Rey hissed furious pressing his chest whit one hand and pushed strongly his shoulder with the other.

She felt the hoarse sound of the bones connecting. The man holds his breath for a second and apart from this, Rey would never be able to say if he had felt any pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you think about all those layers Kylo must wear? I do.


	10. Chapter 10

Kylo stand up and slowly moved the shoulder, testing his movements.

He looked lost for a while. The true is that he wasn’t used to be …cared of. His mother was always so busy, worried about the galaxy. And his father…well. He just was never around. Now he had many servants, crew and soldiers to serve him, more that he could remember. Nevertheless, they were just following orders, some anxious for better positions, others scared of the mysterious and bad-tempered Supreme Leader Kylo Ren.

“I´m going to…refresh myself,” he said after an embarrassed silence.

“I think some hot water will help,” Rey added and regret it immediately. It sounds more suggestive that she had intended to. “I mean, to your shoulder, and muscles…” she tried to fix it but it got worse every time. The image of Kylo under the shower, water cascading down his body, definitely wasn’t helping.    

He stared her for a while before walking in the direction of the refresher, trying to figure out what make her act so oddly. The girl was fearless when confronted by him, determinate in her beliefs, trained by a hard life in a desert. Despite all this, she looked vulnerable when there was no obvious reason.

“I was not supposed to ask you, but…” he turned to face her.

“What?” Rey felt relieved by having something practical to do. Whatever he was asking for, it would be far better than stay there, thinking about him,  bathing,  close to her.       

“You will have to …help me to get the rest of my attire out,” he tried to use the intimidating tone he uses to give orders.

“Are you serious?” she asked suspicious.

“I can’t remove the rest of my clothes without the risk of piercing my lungs by the broken ribs,” he remembered her. “You are not going to bathe me,” he explained sounding even more presumptuous.

“Only in your dreams, Kylo Ren,” she defied him marching to the refresher. But this time, he didn’t give her a disdainful replied as he used to do. He suddenly seemed insecure, as if the mention of his dreams could betray the truth: that he has being dreaming, and not about the war.

The refresher was the most luxurious Rey had ever seen. Everything looked new, shine and black. There was a large tube and a shower, in addition to piles of towels, clothes and more bottles she could imagine that someone will need to. Now she found out how Kylo was always with an impeccable aspect.    

“Well… being the Supreme Leader has its benefits,” she teased him.

“I believe it does,” he was amused by her surprise. “You will find out the rest of the accommodations very suitable.”

She tried to ignore the insinuation,  that she will spend more time in those rooms. Everything was a mess between Kylo and her, but that time they had gone beyond all boundaries. Whatever it was the origin of their connection, it was even more vivid, intense, and lasting. How much time they spend together, stronger they were.

For now, it was better to focus on the task she had beyond her. “I’m going to… ahm…start taking off this armor you use,” she decided to initiate at once. As she got no reply by the knight, she approached to him.

She passed the arms around Kylo´s neck, searching for a bottom or something to unfasten the pleated waistcoat. They were so closed she could sense his breath as it was her own. 

“Why do you have to use such an absurd attire, anyway?!” she asked.The idea of being just a few inches of Kylo´s body makes her so nervous that she couldn’t find out how to take that damn waistcoat off.

“You are nervous,” for whatever reason, Rey was averting her gaze from him. “I thought we were past this part.”

“What about more scars, Ren?” she rasped. Once again, she had the impression of seeing a shadow of a smile in the corner of his mouth. Just as soon as she felt it though, it was gone, and she wondered whether hadn't been her imagination. The knight remained steady.

After a confusing moment, she finally untied the collar neck and removed the waistcoat, trying not to touch Kylo´s chest more that it was necessary. He didn’t help her, his eyes dark like a storm. He uses a dark shirt under the vest, coarse paints, heavy boots and the indefectible leather gloves. It will be arduous, she thought exasperated, begging for not start sweating because all that nervousness.

It was much easier to beat Kylo in a lightsaber dispute than get him undressed.

During all that disorderly closeness the knight remained silence and steady. But when Rey bowed down in front of him to unlace his boots his self-restraint flied to the space. There was no way Kylo would remain on the command of his strengths anymore. All he was capable to do was hold himself long enough to stop the girl.

“That’s enough,” he said in a rough voice. He holds the girl´s arm and lifted her abruptly. Rey looked at him, confused by the abrupt interruption. She was about to remark the man, but the intensity of his gaze scared her. 

“It will be better if you wait outside,” he added.

“But…ahmm... can you?” she made a gesture pointing Kylo´s remaining clothes.

“Wait outside,” he demanded in an even deeper voice, his jaw clenched. Kylo´s hands tightly harder around her arm. She could feel the darkness rising around him.

“As I could go anywhere during the force bond,” she remembered. “Have you eat lately?” she asked. She always found easier to care about practical things. Life was more ordered this way, simpler.

“No, I haven’t,” he tried to inhale to calm down. As his breath got easy, he indicated the door. “I have the provender required in my room.” _How long will she remain there?_ If she knew the nature and fury of his thoughts, she will definitely run away. What kind of power this girl has over him? He was the mighty Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader of the First Order … desperately needy of a cold bath after being partially undressed by her.

Rey fixed an intrigued look at him.   She wants to ask what was going on, but the idea of keeping the conversation with the Supreme Leader in that scaring situation was more than enough to astound her off the refresher.

Reentering Kylo´s room, she inspected the place curiously. Rey has already been on board of a First Order ship, more times than she had desired. Altough, that was not a scaring prison or an impersonal meeting room.  

It was her first time in Kylo´s private room.


	11. Chapter 11

Rey decided that Kylo´s room  seemed a lot like him. It was impeccable, simple and…intimidating. She could felt his masculine scent spread. Leather and mint. She was getting used to it and could recognize it anywhere.

She moved around with no destination, looking for  some food and searching how to make all that equipment to work. Rey was trying to figure out how to manipulate all that stuff when she heard the smooth sound of the opening door. Kylo was impeccable again, wearing just part of the complex attire he used to.

“I tried to find something for you to eat,” she explained.

“I can do it for myself, you don’t have to worry,” His black hair was wet, he passes his longs fingers through it, in an automatic gesture, unaware of his attractiveness. “Why are you laughing?” he asked surprised by Rey´s reaction.

“Its just…” she makes a pause, controlling her laugh. “I never imagined the Supreme Leader Kylo Ren preparing his own meals! I guessed you would have lots of people serving you.”

“Indeed, I have,” he admitted. “It’s also …tiresome, sometimes.”

She observed him doing such a trivial activity with a secret pleasure. There was a silence energy in his movements which matched with Kylo´s personality. He was intent and perfectionist.

“Would you like to join me?” he asked formally. Despite all their disagreements, one thing Rey could say for sure: Kylo´s manners were striking.

“I don’t think I could do it through the Force, do you?” she answered intrigued.  

“I not sure about anything that involves you, scavenger.” She thought he was taunting her, but he seemed very serious. “Perhaps you should try it,” he added.

Rey was about to refuse it again when she noticed the blend of shapes and colors. She couldn’t resist to get closer to the table. “Is this…real?” she inquired, amazed.

Kylo understood she was referring to the food and answered. “Yes, those are a kind of fruit.” He saw the reverent touch of the girl and the scream of pleasure by her discover. “You have never… seen that before?” he found that outlandish.

“Of course I have seen it,” she said. She touched a very red one and looked amazed by its texture and color. “But I never could afford real food in Jakku, it’s too expansive.”

He was not ignorant about the problems of the galaxy. He knew perfectly well that some planets and systems were…hard to live, at best. He had a comfortable  life, some aspects of surviving look very distant to him. It became suddenly real as the image of a little girl break into his mind. Trying to survive, never having enough to eat, waiting in an unending loneliness.

“You are very quiet,” she observes the knight. “I think you should take some kind of sedative, don’t you?” she asked, confusing his reflections with pain.

“I will not take it,” he affirmed, leaving the table. “It will make me sleep deeply.”

“And what´s the matter?”

“It’s a luxury I can’t afford now. I have orders to do, inspections to be made.” He noticed the girl rolling her eyes in an insolent way. “It’s not your concern,” he finished in a cold tone.

“You are injured, I can see that,” Rey didn’t know what makes her to be worried about him, the man she was supposed to hate. Compassion, perhaps. Or something even more dangerous and forbidding. Whatever it was, it was irrepressible for her sometimes.  And now it was one of those moments.

“It’s not just this,” he continued, walking firmly across the room and typing the commands on the console. “I have to be alert if something …happens to me or with this ship until we have returned to…” he stopped the sentence, realizing he couldn’t say his exact location to the Jedi.

She hesitated for a while, biting her lower lip. Rey knew she will regret this like... _forever_. Not that it was something she could choose or that Kylo didn’t know already. By saying it loud was …disturbing. “I will be here,” she remembered him. “I will watch you.”

He raised his head of the console. “What do you mean?” Kylo asked.

“You know what I´m talking about,” she sounded irritated. “Don’t make me explain this to you.” She indicated them both. “I will have to be with you while this…connection…whatever… lasts. I will watch you, nobody can harm us when we are together, you know this.”

“Yes, I do,” he agreed. “What I don’t understand is why you are going to protect the man you want to kill.”

“I don’t want to kill you, Kylo Ren,” she sighed. “I wanted you to come back, to stand with me and you…”

“Another useless discussion,” he interrupted in a cruel tone.

“So what do you suggest we should do?” Rey wished she had her lightsaber. She could at least wrestle with him, as they weren’t able to talk with other without pointless accusations.

“Try to be undetectable. I am going to talk with some officers using the holovid,” he looked to her with an accusation tone.

“Can’t you do this personally? Aren’t they here in this ship?”

“I don’t want to this in person,” he said simply.

“Why not?”

He just sighs, exasperated, but not quite angry. He was often surprised by her opened curiosity. Kylo Ren had received more than his fair share of odd looks from the officers and soldiers around them, alarmed to be facing the volatile commander. Sometimes, like now, Rey shows no fear at all of him. He hadn’t decided how to fell about his.

“It will be faster this way,” he moved back to the console. _And…I not sure if the bond will last if I leave the room,_ he thought to himself, wishing he had closed the Force so Rey wouldn’t hear it.

Her presence was comforting and healing.

The loneliness that had accompanied him for so long, the anger demanding for destruction, the sleepless and empty nights. Kylo didn’t fell that when he was with Rey, since from the first time he observed her, unconscious in the interrogation room, as if the girl  was a window to a different version of him.

“I will do it. But I have one condition,” she defied him.

“Of course you have,” he replied ironical.

“After you finish this, you will take the medicines and sleep.” Kylo raised his head from the console to stare her, surprised by the altruist request.

“I will watch you until we make sure you are better. And don’t try anything weird, Ren or _this time_ I will kill you,” she added with fire in the brown eyes.

“You said it was just one condition,” he mocked her.  “You will have to choose one of them.” An altruist request, indeed.

Rey snorted and rested in the chair, determined to not pay attention to that absurd demonstration of the First Order operation. Why would the Force connect her with such an impossible man!? Despite her impatience with the knight, every once in a while she caught herself observing him.

She couldn’t ignore the assurance of his voice, the authority of his orders. He requested lists of transmissions, coordinates analysis and reports of inspections, all in a way she couldn’t use it to provide the Resistance.

He was suitable on commanding, something she was pretty sure she will never be able to do, much less with this kind of mastership. Rey knew Leia was a princess, but she never got the exact details about this. Rey wondered if that was the source of Kylo´s aristocratic manners.

“Should I call the knights back, Sir?” the commander asked Kylo, obviously referring to the Knights of Ren. She _was_ curious about this. She knew so little about this …army?

“No. I will call them when we get to another base,” the Supreme Leader explained. “They have a mission to complete first.” Kylo wouldn’t admit to himself, but he was impatient to finish the conference. He wanted to be alone with Rey again.

He was so impatient he hadn’t called for the General, as it was expected. Also, he had no mood for Hux´s impertinence now. Let him think he is not favoring the Supreme Leader, it will be better.

“You can go now, Commander. Reinforce the surveillance in this wing. I don’t want be interrupted unless I request,” it was an clear tone of dismissing in Kylo´s voice and the experience officer didn’t wait for a second line.

“As you command, Sir,” he slowly faded when Kylo finished the transmission.

“Impressive, Supreme Leader Ren,” she teased him. Once more, they were completely alone in the shinning room. “Have you been trained to this?”

Kylo decided not to ignore the question. “I have been trained to be a knight, to be in combat. Believe it or not, the mastery of the dark side is not exactly useful for this kind of thing: politics, military strategic. This I learned from… other person.”

He didn’t mention but Rey realized he was talking about his parents. Kylo had grown up surrounded by an army. A different one, with different purpose, but it was an army. He definitely was more prepared to this life than she was.

During his speech he found the metallic cylinder and injected the medicine himself. “That it was my part of our agreement,” he remembered, throwing the tube away.

“You can get some sleep now,” Rey added. “Come, I help you to accommodate when you…hum….be ready to sleep.”

“I am ready,” he said approaching to the large bed. “What do you expect me to do?” Ren inquired in face of Rey´s hesitation.

“Are you going to sleep with all those clothes?” she asked. She didn’t have much experience about a man intimate routine. She had no insight about that, indeed. But Kylo´s attire looked to be very uncomfortable for sleeping, actually. Not even him could be so unusual, she thought.

“In fact, I intend to. I am not going to take my clothes off, if is that what you are suggesting,” he replied in a cold tone.

“Don’t be absurd!” inevitably, Rey felt his cheeks burning by this suggestion.

“From a may, which I assume you are…” he was having trouble to accommodate his huge frame in bed with just one arm. “This is an immodest proposal.”

“From…a what!?” Rey almost yelled, puzzled by the intimate speech.

“You are the one who admitted never being kissed,” Kylo remembered her. “It’s a logical conclusion.” His voice and movements were slow, he was somnolent and Rey deduced he won’t last much long.

"Just...stop talking," she urged, pushing the male body until reaching the backrest. It was more difficult than she thought. He was heavy and physically stronger than she was. When they finished she was exhausted, both by the effort and the disturbing proximity.

Rey gave a last look to Kylo, once again restraining herself to not push the black hair back.


	12. Chapter 12

She definitely was the most stupid girl in the whole galaxy, Rey thought with a sigh. After all they have been trough, the fights, the yelling, the accusations… there she was, nursing Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader of the First Order.

Compassion was the strangest thing. She wasn’t sure if it was a wise feeling, after all.

“Compassion?” she heard the male voice asking sarcastically. “That’s how you call this now?”

“Call what?” Once again, he was able to read her thoughts with a disconcerting dexterity.

“Our…connection,” he raised the head to look her in the eyes. “Compassion?”

“You can be incapable of compassion, but I am not,” she accused. “I am not going to change my soul because of dread.”

“It’s just that I can think in some more… accurate definitions,” he added mysteriously.

“Like what?” she inquired, but regret it immediately. It was not the kind of questions she should do if she wanted to get this night scatheless.

“Perhaps I tell you someday. Or perhaps you will have to find out for yourself.” He rested on the pillows again, closing his eyes. “And for this subject, your ancient master could never help you, believe me.”

Rey grumbled some incoherent answers, stirring uncomfortable while trying to fit her body in the chair.

“Do you intend to spend the night in this chair?” he asked.

“Aren’t you supposed to be asleep?” she asked in an annoyed tone, amusing him. She was short-tempered, at least when she was with him.

“ _You_  are restraining me,” he explained. “You are agitated, I can avoid reaching you.”

“Well, sorry about that. Its not the way I intended to spend the night!” She moved again, trying to find a new position.

“Come to bed,” he said, the rough voice.  

Rey gasped. In her throat, her heart caught. And stoped. She felt embarrassed and anxious at the same time, thought she couldn't say why.

"I am not going to sleep with you again, Kylo,” she answered, not without some difficult.

“It is a large bed, not the small cot of yours, where we already sleep _together,_ ” he emphasized, trying to find a better position for his broad shoulder. He closed the eyes, the teeth clenching by the pain caused by his movements.   

He was right,  it was just impossible to find a way to rest in that chair and he seemed to be getting asleep by the pain and medicines. Rey moved slowly to the large bed.

“Don’t be so worried,” he demanded in his usual bored tone. “I can assure your…righteousness.” At least I _think_ I can assure, he said to himself, highly conscious about the female presence.

“Was that supposed to ease me?” she countered, lying on the edge of Kylo´s bed, determinate to be as far from the massive body as possible. He shows no reaction and Rey was surprised by this unexpected courtesy.

Rey was more relaxed a few minutes later, as she got no ironic reply from the black-clad figure, and started to mind the difference of their accommodations. Kylo´s bed was far more comfortable than any other place she has ever been. There were soft pillows, fresh and clean sheets in the large bed. The mattress was cushy and firm. All in black, obviously. Kylo _did_ have a problem with colors, she thought.

She observed his heavy breath, the large chest moving deeply while he tried to push the air beneath broken ribs. His dark hair wasn’t wet anymore and a curl rested on his forehead. This time, she couldn’t resist bunching his hair back, surprised by its softness.

Rey watched him sleeping indifferent to her, memorizing the path of the freckles in the pale face, the scar corrupting the manful visage. Kylo was a handsome man, proud of his power and unconscious of his attractiveness.

The knight was immersed in a sleep with no dreams. Nothing. She senses nothing. Just an empty and moonless dream. She has no means to know It was a blessing to the grown-man.

Kylo´s quarter was much colder than Rey was used to. She grew up in a desert, the nights were cold, after a hot and airless day.  It was very different from this absolutely freezing place. She eyed the cloak Kylo left nearby and decided to use it as a blanket.

She moved carefully, hoping not to wake Kylo, but he seemed to be knocked out by the pain and the medicines. In her way back to bed,  Rey decided to take his heavy leather boots off. There was no need to sleep with those either. She unlaced the several locks involving Kylo´s ankle and removed the right boot first. She did the same with his left boot and dropped off next to bed.  

It was curious to think how he was vulnerable and undefended. Besides that, Rey had a strong feeling that, not for the first time, she was the one getting more resistless each time.

Rey wrapped  herself with the heavy cowl.  She let her body sink into the mattress, lying with his back to him. She was almost slipping into dream when Kylo moved slowly, his  body pressuring the mattres beside her.

She didn't dare to move other than hold his breath in antecipation, the male scent overhelming her senses. 

Kylo  dropped one arm over her side, holding her by the waist.

“Are you...” she tried to ask, the words stumbling from her mouth by the press of Kylo's hand on her.

“It's fine,” he says, eyes still closed, the voice soft. She tried to further away, but his hand grasped her tighter.

It was _not_ fine, Rey thought, suppressing the urge to pull away and hide, her heart hammering. Any hope of deducing  Kylo's next move has evaporated and she hated herself to let things so out of control. Rey sighed, exhausted. At least they could always act as if these nights never happened.She wondered how long this could go on.

“Sleep now,” he said, but his voice was not demanding at all. She could feel Kylo's breath against her neck,  her body melting by his warmth.

Rey had never known what it would be like to have a home. She wondered if It will be like the warmth she was feeling inside Kylo's arm.

 

During the night, Kylo sensed the pain from time to time, blended with a tepid feeling he couldn’t distinguish.  He woke up and search around watchful. The girl was still there.

Sleeping peacefully in his bed. Dreaming in the same room with him.

She was using his black cloak around her small body, the costume much larger than she was. He felt an unexpected tender by the image of Rey using his clothes. It was ironic, the Supreme Leader attire used as a blanket by the scavenger.

The girl who saved the droid with the Last Jedi map location, putting herself in his way. Since then, she was always there, tormenting him, torturing him, out of reach.

The girl he couldn’t kill.

He remembered the time in Crait. He had felt pure anger, blinded by the fury, desperate for not being able to kill his past one more time. What happened to them? Everything who seemed to be determinate had completely changed again.

Rey opened her eyes, slowly leaving the unconsciousness. The first thing she saw was Kylo´s intense gaze.She furtively tried to figure out which color his eyes were. Hazel, green and brown at the same time. Dark,  intense, but she wasn’t able to define its colors.

“How are you?” she asked in a lazy voice.

He just nodded with the head, the face soft, the dark eyes darting on her. Rey liked the sleepy and partly unconscious Kylo. Taken by the moment, she reached the hand to touch his scar.

Surprised by the bland touch, he moved his gaze to face Rey, but said anything. She draws the path across Kylo´s face, tracing the scar with the fingertips.  The male skin was different for everything she had ever touched, soft and rough at the same time. She could sense with her fingers the beard beginning to grow.

“Do you regret this?” she asked, referring the time they fought each other with the lightsaber.

“The untrained girl who beat Kylo Ren.” There was no resentment or menace in his voice, she even had the impression of seeing a shadow of a smile in the corner of his mouth.

“I almost hit our eye…” her voice was just a  whisper, as she were talking to herself.

“I’m quite sure you would have enjoyed this.”

“That’s not true,” she replied. “You have pretty eyes.”

She felt her cheeks getting red, blushing immediately.  She had thought about Kylo´s eyes many times. Yet, she couldn’t believe she had said that out loud.

“I should be the one raving,” he pointed, closing his eyes. No one had ever said that before, but this girl. That fearless girl.

“Raving?” the choice of words seemed odd to Rey.

“This is nothing the kind of thought people have when they are with me,” he confessed, opening the eyes to stare her. 

Rey tried to remove the hand from his face, suddenly embarrassed. Kylo caught her movement and hold the small hand with his, before she could move away.He pressed the girl´s hand, their fingers clasping together, so gently Rey could never imagined he was capable to.

“You are wearing my cover,” he said and the soft tone confused Rey.

“Yes, I was cold so…” she was trying to take the improvised blanket off when he stopped her, pulling her closer by the waist.

She gasped by the cold touch of the leather in her. Rey stares at him, eyes wide, alarmed with their proximity. She could feel the movement of his breath, the warmth of his blood, the texture of his garment.

Surrounded by him, she was reminded just how tiny she was in comparison to Kylo.

“Rey,” Kylo said.  His voice was soft and his fingers started to move slowly over her arm. Rey felt her temperature heighten.

She wanted to say something, but her voice was trapped inside her chest, the cold warmth of the leather causing a shivering that could easily be confused with pleasure.

He stopped just below her shoulder, staring at her, making some cold thing cascade down her spine.  The lights of the new dawn casted reflections on Kylo´s face and Rey found the black hair even darker, something she couldn’t imagine it was possible.

At the same time, part of her conscious starts to hear the distant and vague sound of the beginning of the day in the Resistance. Voices greeting, devices being pushed down the corridor, hurried footsteps. Something deep inside was telling her to move closer, but she was freeze by panic.

Shortly after, Kylo’s form vanished.

Rey spent a few minutes in the bed, trying to slow the fast pace of her heart, her fingers still clasped, as she was still holding Kylo´s clothes.

 


	13. Chapter 13

“Rey?” Finn was knocking on the door, calling her, the sound cutting  the silence left by Kylo.

“I´m going,” she said loud, in a confused hurry to wake up. She runs to bathroom to put some fresh clothes. She took a deep breath and opened the door, trying hard to smile at Finn. She desperate wanted to elude the fragments of her connection with Kylo.  

“Rey, what happened to you?” Finn asked, entering the room in an impatient gait, moving around with familiarity.

“What are you talking about?” Rey asked, cheeks blushing. She knew it wasn’t her fault, she didn’t create the bond between Kylo and her. Though, she felt guilty, as if it was very illicit and forbidden.

“We call you at night, but you didn’t reply. I was almost calling Poe to force the door!” he explained in a severe tone.

“Please, said you didn’t do this,” Rey begged, assaulted by doubt. Could anybody else see when they were connected, she and  Kylo Ren?

“Rose stopped me. She said it was not my business if you were sleeping or what. And that I could wait until morning,” he admitted, hands on the hips.

Rey rolled the eyes, but deep inside she was amused by his impatient. He was so full of affection and kindness, It was hard to remember he was once a Stormtrooper.

“So…?”

“You didn’t answer me! I can't believe you were you sleeping _that_ hard!” he added. “You know how she is, I just wasn’t able to make her wait.”

Finn concludes the line confusedly, Rey couldn’t  figure out what he was talking about. “Can you stop talking about my sleep? Who is _she,_ anyway?”

“I am talking about Maz!” he explained. “Are you not trying to keep in touch with her for weeks? Last night we make contact with Maz but as always she was in such a hurry that I...”

“I can´t believe this…” Rey moaned so marked that interrupted Finn´s speech.  She was desperate to get any piece of information about her broken saber and that was his last shot. And she lost it because she was nursing the Supreme Leader Kylo Ren. Rey felt a huge desire to be with Ben right now just to hit the broad shoulder herself.

“I knew you wanted to ask her about the lightsaber. I not quite sure we made the right questions, but we recorded it for you.” Rey almost cried by his friend kindness. “I thought you would like to hear it when you _finally_ wake up.”

She hugs him, so grateful by having the former Stormtrooper in her life. “Thank you, Finn...” she said in a tender tone. “Now can you stop talking about my sleep?” she laughs by his insistence.

“Came on, I will show you,” Finn kissed her on the forehead, frank and friendly. They walked out the room and he began to explain the details. Rey looked across Finn, his words were enthusiastic. His eyes were alighted by the progress of the Resistance for the last days. They were almost finishing rebuilding some damaged ships, a memory of a fleet, but full of hope.

They sat in front of the communication panel. Breakfast could wait,  she was anxious by hearing the Maz record. Finn pressed the button and advanced to the part which they were more interested.

The voice of Maz Kanata filled the place, the short and wrinkled ancient woman intimidated Rey even she wasn’t there. Rey paid attention to the small figure with beady eyes and large glasses walking angry towards them.

“Rebuilt a lightsaber?” the harsh voice was saying. “You should know it is not possible! At least, every sensible creature in galaxy should know that!” the little ancient muttered, throwing her hands up in exasperation,  clearly frustrated with everybody else ignorance.

“It´s not only about conductors and terminals, you also need a crystal. And the crystal is attuned to the Force, it´s a manifestation of a connection to the Force,” Maz explained.  Rey listened Finn´s voice asking how they could identify if the crystal was good enough.

“You must be very careful. The blades generated by unstable crystals were obviously more unstable, causing the blades generated to crackle with energy.” The ancient came closer to them, snorting in with impatience.  “The instability and fluctuation of energy run along, causing more damage than normal.” At this point of her speech, Maz looked directly to them in a very strict way. It seems to Rey that the short woman as studying her right now, despite this was a recording.

As she listens, Rey wondered if Maz was talking just about lightsaber or if It was a mention to the force-bond between her and Kylo Ren. A secret she still kept from everyone. 

They continued to listen Maz short and sometimes mysterious instructions about the crystals of  how the rarer the crystal, the more powerful its effects on a lightsaber were. The short ancient barely ended the conversation, disappearing in her usual harsh and hurry manners. Suddenly, Rey was alone with Finn again.

“So, how was it?” Finn asked.

“I couldn’t ask better. Thank you again, Finn,” she smiled to him. She reached over and patted his knee.

“You don’t look satisfied,” he pointed, studying Rey´s face.

“It´s just…” she hesitated. Rey felt all that way out of her depth.  “Everything is so difficult and confusing… why everybody need to be so mysterious?” she was frustrated. The information Maz had given them only confirmed what Rey already suspected. There was only one person she could ask about this.  

“Well, I don’t know all this Jedi stuff of yours,” Finn shrugged.

“You already used a lightsaber. It´s not only Jedi or Sith stuff,” she remembered him.

“And we both know how bad _that_ ended! I was almost sliced by Kylo Ren,” he remembered, voice serious. “Rey… do you think Maz was talking about him? Kylo Ren? Finn stared her. “You know, when she said you should be careful?”

“Why did you think it was about him?” She was touching the controls of the panel randomly,  trying to make as she was deeply involved in her task so he wouldn’t have to face her friend.

“Because of all that talk about crackled blades, instability and everything else. Isn’t his lightsaber like this?” he made a pause, trying to remember the details of their battle. He saw clearly in his mind the night in the forest.  “It sounds to me she was warning you, ” he said in a decided tone.

Rey took a moment to think about Maz´s words. Could Finn be right? The little ancient had warned about the crystal saber used by Ren? Or it was something else?

“Oh good! You found each other, at least,” Rose interrupted them, entering the room. She sat next to Rey and put a hand softly in her shoulder. “Are you alright?” Rey nodded to say she was fine, grateful to be with friends.  

“So, what were  you talking about?” Rose asked.

“Kylo Ren. And his lightsaber,” Finn answered in a worried voice.

“Come on, not so early! Cant you talk about somebody less mean in the morning?” Rose rolled her eyes, annoyed by the mention of the Supreme Leader.

Rey keeps in silence, full of guilty once more. She could understand her friend’s reactions by the bare mention of Kylo´s name. He did feel like darkness, the synthesis of everything ill in the dark side. Anguish and hurt, burning rage and fury, ready to burst into flames everything on his path.  It seems to Rey that nobody could see the conscientious, conflicted, and scarred man. Rey knew he was as tormented as he is torturous. But it was something she couldn’t say.

“I have to talk to General Organa. Is she here?” Rey didn’t have the chance to talk to Leia. How could she explain to the General what happened.  Rey felt her cheeks flushing  by the memory of spending the night with Kylo, contracting every sense of reason inside her.

“Yes, she is,” Rose answered. “She has also asked about you.”

“I will talk to her,” Rey raised up from the seat.

Rey marched to meet General Organa in the command room, hoping the Princess didn’t ask for things she could never explain, or for choices she wasn’t sure she could do.

Theroom was already full of officers and pilots of the Resistance, searching new strategies to break the First Order impenetrable block of supplies.The woman gave her a warm smile and pointed a seat to Rey. 

Rey tried to find Ben’s traces in the Princess face and couldn’t found much resemblance, except for the manners. They both have that emanation of authority and confidence. Rey got curious to know of whom Ben got that black hair. Would Ben look  more like his feared grandfather?

“Do you have something you wish to tell me?” the Princess asked, sitting next to Rey, interrupting her thoughts. 

“Yes, it is about …what you sensed last night” Rey hesitated. “About… Kylo, I mean Ben…” She wasn’t sure how to tell what happened without explain their constant and growing connection. She tried to resume as much as possible and her tentative of hiding the most embarrassing parts only makes her speech more confused.

The General listened everything in silence, the face calm and impassive. Rey tried to assure her it was nothing involving the Resistance or their location, at least for the moment. When she told Leia about Kylo´s injuries, she couldn’t help being blushed by the memory of touching his broad shoulder and how he had been easy and forthcoming when he was drowsy.

They were in silence for a while and Rey was begging for sensitive Princess not being able to reach her mind as easy as his son used to do.

“Did you find this only through the Force?” The woman gave her an inquisitive look.

“Yes… and no...” Rey admitted. “The connection between me and Kylo is stronger than with anybody else.”

“I can see that,” the General said. “How is he? My son?” The question surprised Rey, but the General was a very straight woman.

“Strong…” Rey answered. “Stubborn…bad-tempered,” she added, allowing her to smile by the remembrance.  The Princess smiled too, in a soft and forbidden satisfaction. She had never heard anybody talking about his son like this, as he was a normal man.

Leia heard the echo of his brother’s last words to her. _No one´s ever really gone._ Not for the first time, Leia tried to guess if this girl was the one destined to change his son. Leia though it will be her love to save him, for so long. Then, she hoped desperate for Luke to find the spark of light as he did with their father.  It didn’t happen the way she expected. And now, suddenly, the Force brought this girl, came from nowhere, in Ben´s path.

Apparently, it has to be a different kind of love, this time.  She smiled to Rey, wondering if the girl had already noticed how much her eyes were wide and shinning when she talked about Ben.

“I glad to know it wasn’t serious,” Leia said, suppressing the urge of keep talking about his son with Rey as there were so many things she has to do as the General of the Resistance. The officers were already impatient.

“Me too.” Rey took the change to end the conversation, despite it had been better than she had anticipated. Finn joined her a few minutes later, asking if she would like to help them with the shipment and the idea of doing something physical attracted her.

“So, what are you going to do? About the lightsaber?” Finn asked,  passing the back of the hand on a sweaty forehead.

“I have an idea. I just… need to talk to someone first,” she hoped Finn couldn’t see her hesitation. It was a horrible idea, pretty much like invading a First Order ship in an escape pod.

There had to be way for this to work out, right? _That is not going to go the way you think._ The words of his former master lingered in her head.

 

In his room, Kylo was seated on the edge of his bed, taking more time than usual to go to the command bridge.

He was looking his black cape, empty without Rey’s body. He touched the harsh layers of fabric remembering the size and the shape of the girl wrapped by his clothes, an intimacy he had never had before.

He leaned forward, pushing down his elbows on the knees, feeling lonelier than never as Rey was not in his room anymore. The undefined black of the hyperspace he could see through the window increased his feeling of being completely alone.

The silence and solitude he used to look for annoyed him that morning.

Kylo looked at the floor, thoughtful.  Only then he noticed he wasn’t using his leather boots. He looked around and found them besides the bed. He reached for his boots, holding them with the hand, as if it was something he had never seen before.

As far as he remembered, he had gone to bed with his entire attire, being mocked by the girl. So she must have taken it off during the night, he concluded. The knight felt a strong wave of heat by the image of the small female hand removing his heavy boots, touching him undisturbed while he was asleep.

He stands up nervously. He was completely out of his element there.  As far as he could see, the old Jedi were right about the risks of attachments, after all. He was beginning to understand the impulses some of they must have, which might make them also weak and silly for a while.

Kylo realized how close they have been, he and the girl, desire undermining his strength and thoughts. He decided it was better to devote his attention to other subjects, his long hand drifting over the controls to call for the commanders.

“Yes, sir?” the trained voice answered promptly.

“Call the Knights,” he demanded.

 


	14. Chapter 14

There was almost a feeling of joy around the remains of the Resistance, a new warmth and expectation.

Anyways, Rey said goodbye as soon as they finished eating. She stood up from the table and   walked quickly back to her room, trying to ignore the invitation of her friends to light a fire outside the Base. Apparently, Poe used his remarkable ability to find the most peculiar beverages in the galaxy.

She locked the door of the room. There, Rey gazed at herself in the grubby mirror and took a deep, calming breath. Rey had taken a bath and changed the off-white-colored tunic for a fresh one.

In her former life in Jakku, she wasn’t one to fuss over her appearance. Survive was far more important. But for some reason, now she was hyper aware of how she must have looked messed up to the impeccable Kylo Ren.

She was using the hair down, despite the insistence of Finn to know the reason about the change. Rose said to him he was crossing the line, giving to Rey an understanding female look, making her cheeks red.

Could Rose been suspicious that Rey was interested in one of the boys of the Resistance? Some of them were very friendly and nice. Others, like Poe, were charming and good-looking. Rey heard the girls talking about him from time to time and she had found the chit chatting nothing but funny. She had never thought about any man in that way. At least…

For a moment, she pictured him in front of her, Kylo Ren, and her muscles started to burn. Rey passed the palms of the sweaty hands over her clothes, practicing the lines again in her head.

She took another deep breath and then started to release his mind, relaxing the link to Kylo. She felt the Force running from and to her body and mind, the energy flowing into her.

She sensed the change in her consciousness, the anxious pause between the moment she was alone to the beginning of somebody else force. Rey felt the darkness rising around her, but it was not evil. It was seductive, welcoming.

Rey opened the eyes, but she already knew.  Kylo was there. Tall, dark, and glowering. His alluring scar.

Right in the middle of his reveries he felt someone looking at him, so clearly as if he could be hurt by the feeling.  This time, he also felt a surge of need streamed down the bond.

And once more, he stormed through the galaxy to reach the girl.  She looked slightly nervous. Nevertheless, he sensed very clearly that she had _wanted_ his presence. The more he thought about that, the more it fascinated him.

“Another warm night, I see?” he teased her, passing the fingers through the black hair. “ This information would increase significantly the chances of my commanders finding you all.”

The defiance was enough to end with Rey nervousness. “Why didn’t you tell them and we finish this?”

“I’ve told you. I am not looking for you anymore.” He walked around the room, slowly, in an elegance that belied his intimidating frame.Every inch of him was covered by black. “For now,” he added. When he reached the rustic table in the corner of the room, he stopped. The old Jedi´s texts she had taken from Ahch-to. He looked over his shoulder to face Rey, giving her a doubtful look.

She did not take her eyes off him as the knight glanced through the pages. Without saying a word, he walked away from the table. He stood in front of Rey, hands besides his back. “You called me here,” he said.

“Yes,” Rey admitted as it was useless to deny.

“Have you considered that might I have more urgent matters to deal with?” He was using the usual bored tone. But his behavior and observations betrayed a sense of  fascination rather than an ulterior motive.

“I want to ask you something.” Rey decided it was better to say at once before her throat got completely dry.   “Can you read those books?” she asked, pointing to the Jedi´s texts.

“Probably,” it was his laconic answer.

“I need you to tell if there is something in the texts about how to rebuild a lightsaber.”

“I don’t need the texts to answer you that,” he said in a petulant tone. “Why do you want to know?” he regarded her curiously.

Rey really didn’t want to talk about the disaster in the throne room. It was too painful. She was biting her lower lip, her eyes fixed upon nothing, trying to find a way to avoid the question.

“Why do you want to know about this?” Kylo insisted, ignoring her attempts to avoid the question.

“When we both summoned the saber, he broke,” she replied. “It was like it couldn’t support such energy. I thought you knew this cause…”

Whatever she was going to say died in her mouth by looking at Kylo. Rage was pouring around the knight, feeding his darkness so strong Rey couldn’t imagine how to prevent him to destroy every living thing in there.

“You…,” he muttered under his breath, closing the gloved hands so strong Rey almost feared he would break his own fist.  “Are you saying you …My grandfather lightsaber …. you stole it and…” he couldn’t find the words.

 _Well done, Rey_ , she said to herself, wondering how to explain to the entire Resistance base what happened if Kylo had one of those bad-tempered explosions.

“ _You_ also did it, have you forgot that?!” she remembered him. “It's done and we have to find a way to fix this.”

He pinched the bridge of his nose as if trying to control himself. _We._ The word caught his yes although it had appeared just once in the sentence.

Kylo felt alone his entire life, getting sick of grinding on the fact he was alone with all that power inside him. Feared and accused. Too strong, too untamed, too dark. Always alone. And somehow, he got stuck to the girl, that growing sense of that connection becoming increasingly more intimate.

He hasn’t considerate that, his grandfather lightsaber broke because of him. Not even the time he woke up alone in the throne room, surrounded by the dead guards, he could have imagined that, one more thing to his long list of failure.

Only then he noticed something in her request. The girl has asked him to help her. He stared at her, seeking to identify in those brown eyes the reason of such request. Kylo was puzzled by the fact she had asked for him instead of her Master.

“Why are you asking me?” he came closer to Rey, leaning the head to study her reaction. “Why not Skywalker?”

Rey’s eyes widened by the shock. Kylo didn’t know about Luke. She opened her mouth but couldn’t find the words to phrase it, because by the bare mention of Luke´s name she started to feel something cold between them. And now she would have to tell Kylo his uncle has gone. She would have to enhance such wound.

“Kylo,” Rey said as softly as she could, “Luke’s gone. I thought you knew it.”

“Gone?” he asked, his voice unsteady for a second.

“He became one with the Force, I don’t know exactly… he has just gone, that day in Crait when you both...” She decided to stop. Rey saw his hands getting even more clenched.

“I felt it through the Force. I always thought you above all will have sensed It  too…” Rey went on.

“No,” Kylo´s voice was rough. “I didn’t.”

“I´m sorry,” she realized the words were unsettled the moment she spoke. But she couldn’t find anything else to say.

The knight quickly looked away with an expression of indescribable sadness. Rey couldn’t tell if he was suffering by Luke´s death or angry because he wasn’t the one who killed the Jedi. She desperate wanted to know.

Kylo placed himself in front of the small window. He didn’t recognize the outside and wasn’t particularly interested. One thing was sure: he doesn’t know what he was supposed to feel about all this. His grandfather lightsaber split, his uncle mysterious passing.

 _Let the past die_ , his own words echoing in his mind as a joke.

Rey walked slowly towards him, bracing herself, afraid Kylo’s rage could burst into flames the entire Resistance base any moment. She could sense his thoughts, a faint echo of pain and rage through time and space.

“Ben…” she said, mouthing the words. “He is fine, I know this for sure. He was in peace, even…”

Kylo cut her off. “It doesn’t matter.”

“I think he was able to forgive himself and even to forgive you about what happened between you both,” Rey insisted.

He turned to face her, eyes like a storm. “I don’t want talk about this.”

Rey nodded reluctantly, deciding it was not really a good idea to infuriate Supreme Leader Kylo Ren in the middle of a Resistance base.

Rey walked around the room, touching the objects randomly, immerse in her thoughts. Silence hovered so completely that even the grit of her shoes could be clearly listened. When she dropped the stuff,  it sounded with a huge bang in the oppressive silence.

Kylo turned to give her a severe look. He opened the mouth to one of his scornful remarks but changed his mind. The girl looked at him with wide eyes in such an innocent face that disarmed him.

He was appeased, Rey could sense this. Not exactly friendly, cause… he was Kylo Ren, after all. But at least part of his fury had gone, the crease between his brow disappearing.

“The saber…” Rey takes the chance to ask. “Do you really think it belonged to our grandfather?” Rey had never considered that as seriously as Kylo seemed to do.

“Yes. He built many of his personalized weapons,” Kylo said presumptuously. She detected the pride in his tone.

“You mean... Darth Vader?” she asked in a lower voice, as if the bare mention of the name was something forbidden.

“Anakin Skywalker,” Kylo explained. “I think he may have built this one when he was Anakin Skywalker, before he takes the mantle of Darth Vader.”

“Anakin? Darth Vader´s name was really Anakin?” As most of the children in Jakku, she had grown up hearing the stories about the Jedi and the Empire. But not such details. Somehow, It makes them more real and human to Rey. She was thinking about the irony of such a powerful and hated man with a former name as Anakin.

The knight stayed unmoving, and the only thing Rey could think to do was to get closer to him. She tried to sense his feelings through the Force, but he was impenetrable.

“If you asked me after Crait, I could say I would never have wanted to see you again,” she admitted.  Kylo looked to her, seeing where this was going, arms crossed in front of the broad chest, hands gloved.

“But then, we got stuck to it, in this… connection,” Rey went on. “I am trying to find a way to live with this.” Kylo still didn’t reply.

“I just want you to help me with this.That’s all,” she said simply, looking up to face Kylo. Rey hated the sound of her own voice, knowing it sounded pleading. But that was nothing she could do, once she had already said.

He stared at Rey, blinking slowly, thinking about their unusual situation. Once again, they were merged in a spiral of contradictory feelings. 

Rey watched cautiously Kylo´s reflections. Without saying a word, he sighed and came closer to the bed. As usual, she was unable to identify logic in Kylo´s behavior, he was always confusing her with his switch of mood.

He removed the black cape in a fluid and languid movement. Rey wasn’t sure about Kylo´s purpose and avoid looking at him, pretending she was not paying attention to his movements.

“What are you…,” she cleared the throat, trying to sound as composed as possible. Then she stopped, knowing she had failure. Miserably.

“This atmosphere is far too hotter than my currently position,” he remembered, finishing removing the waistcoat. "My attire is not suitable for this place,” his movements were slightly slow.

“Well, this is not my fault,”  she replied in a challenge tone. “Don’t you have normal clothes in First Order?”

“I _do have_ informal clothes,” his voice was scornful. “I just never thought about wearing them in front of a…” he stopped so abruptly Rey could only imagine it was something very offensive.

“In front of a what?” she asked, arms crossed, voice rough. “A scavenger? A Rebel? Is that what you mean?”

“A woman,” he said simply. He could feel the heat flushing to his cheeks and ears, but Rey didn’t tease him.

She shot a surprised look his way, defiance turning into confusion. Actually, she doesn’t know what she was supposed to say. It was an adjustment, getting used to think of him as a person with fears, needs... wants and desires.

Kylo dropped the heavy waistcoat. He looked at her, either reluctant to stay. Or too tired to go.

Despite the decision of asking him for help, Rey still don’t know how to behave. She seated on the edge of the small cot, as formally as possible, wondering if life will ever be normal again.

“Would you...” she invited, wishful and fearful at the same time.

The Knight seated next to her, seeming so wide-ranging, his broad figure settling the small bed underneath them. Rey flushed under her stare.

Kylo had removed the most part of the harsh fabric and was now with just the last layer of his attire, a simply black shirt and pants. It was so incongruous with the mighty Supreme Leader Kylo Ren that Rey just founded it far more disturbing than fighting him with the saber.

Even in their last meeting, when Rey helped him to get undressed, she hadn’t seen him with so little clotting. His black shirt was slightly opened, the white skin from his long neck, the collarbones crisscrossed with pale scars.

She obliged herself to not outwardly stare at him. There was something warmth about being with Kylo in his casual clothes, though she don’t know why. The black shirt was not so different from the kind that Poe or Finn uses.

But Kylo was never like the others. His manlike, his intense gaze. All blended with his usual masculine scent.

Rey was feeling her face getting flushed and desperate tried to focus in something else. Too late, Kylo picked up on her line of thought,  the feelings that had channeled through her washing over him. He could feel her difficult to focus, her embarrassment blended with curiosity and fascination.

He tried to hide it, but Rey noticed the way Kylo held back a smile. His face had become more relaxed. Rey would have left the Resistance, the First Order, the Jedi, everything and every person in the galaxy, for just that moment.

 


	15. Chapter 15

Rey hardly remembered she was seated in his bed with the most feared man in the galaxy, the one she was supposed to hate. She couldn’t avoid wishing the time had stopped, so they could live them over and over again.

Anyway, it was better not to waste time about issues they could not resolve.

She listened to his voice so attentively she didn’t notice how close they were in the small bed. She discovered herself seated next to him, legs crossed under her body. It was not easy to accommodate his huge frame in the small cot, but he rested casually against the headboard of the bed, hands crossed behind the head, legs straight ahead.

Kylo answered all his questions with his usual bored and disdainful tone. Despite his manners, there was a slight of amusement in his face, as if he was pleased to find the unprecedented satisfaction of talking endless to someone.

Rey almost wishes she had been more instructed, but that certainly was not possible for her, not in Jakku. But when he started to explain the mechanisms of the saber, she was in her element, eyes shining by the excitement of finding new applies from what she learned from a life as a scavenger. She was surprised to discover how easily she could talk to Kylo. 

Not for the first time, Kylo was thinking about the strange sense of humor the Force had. He couldn’t have imagined someone less suitable for power than this girl. He had offered her the whole galaxy. Unlimited power and control. Just to watch her refusing all this. Now, she was seated next him, brown eyes shining by the perspective of having a lightsaber, instead.

He felt something very similar to proud by the conclusion that the girl was nothing but a fighter, just like him.

The knight explained to her like they were not fighting with a simple blade as much as they were directing a current of power. He told her that before placing the crystal in the lightsaber, the Jedi or the Sith had to imbue them with the Force. To do this, the Force-user was required to meditate on the crystal for many days.

“Meditate on the crystal?” she asked. Her voice was surprised cause she couldn’t imagine how this could possibly work.

“It´s something very much like your own heart,” the knight said in a way that sounded very seductive to Rey.

They looked each other for a moment, Rey trying to imagine Kylo blending his own crimson, raw blade. She could almost sense the chaotic and brutal energy flowing from the knight to the crystal, his face strong and composed.

“Tell me where I can find my crystal,” she demanded.

Kylo made a noise somewhere between a growl and a groan. “You don’t have to _find_ our crystal. You can make your own crystal.”

“But…I thought we need to find a crystal. A natural one.”

“The Jedi used natural crystals,” he explained in a petulant tone.

“You mean…” she studied Kylo´s face, wondering if he was talking about _her_ using the dark side to create a lightsaber.

“Jedi frowned on the creation and use of synth-crystals among their initiates. But the true is there are many sabers with synthetic crystals.”

He explained the Jedi used to associate the use of synthetically crystal  with taking the quick and easy path, as they believed they should rely on crystals found naturally.He was explaining to her that while the most part of the Jedi used natural crystals, the Sith mostly used red-hued synthetic crystals.

“Ben…” she interrupted in a severe tone.

“What?” he asked with caution. Could the girl be irritated by the comment about the Jedi´s guideline?”

“You are hitting me!” she complained.

“What are you saying?” he asked, intrigued.

“You are very spacious! You are hitting me with those boots!” she complained.

“Seriously?” he raised his eyebrows.

“Yes, you are,” she accused, ignoring the mockery of Kylo´s voice.

Kylo seated on the bed and starts removing the heavy shoes with exaggerated movements, but Rey could see his expression was soft, as if he was jested by the unusual reprimand. The knight leaned forward his tall body in order to remove the shoes, the muscles of the large back rippling against the shirt in an almost immodest way. Rey felt his blood starting to burn, his memory failing by the vision of that strength.

“Satisfied?” he asked, looking at her.

_Hardly_ , she said dramatically to herself, desperate wishing he did not sense the nature of her thoughts. Being drawn to him like this, through the Force, was dangerous enough. She didn’t have to surrender to his attractiveness either. The hope that he's not all bad, just drawn that way and Kylo´s manhood only makes it worse.

It was like stoke the fires of attraction.

Rey got assaulted by the thought. Attraction? She felt attraction by him?

She closed her hands strongly, hurting the palm of the hands with her own nails. It was all she could do to prevent herself burning into tears. Only the thoughts of recording that Kylo was next to her, so mysterious in its familiarity, prevented her for doing just that. Could _that_ be the reason she was so unstable when she was with Kylo?

She wonders why she couldn’t be attracted to someone like Poe or Finn. They were handsome, in a very soft way, and above all, they were good to her. She knew for sure they would be gentle and kind,  while staying close to Kylo was like diving in a hurricane. Why in galaxy she couldn’t find some normal man attractive instead of Kylo Ren?

Rey hated herself although she was sure this wasn’t her choice. It was not her fault, right? Kylo was a handsome man, in a very unconventional way, but extremely handsome. She never thought about any other man before, as if she had being waiting, just to be broken by some man as unmatched as Kylo Ren.

She gave a glimpse at Kylo. He was kicking the boots off, distracted. Then, he runs the fingers through hair, brushing back the locks of black hair from the forehead, indifferent, as warning everybody around to step away. She mirrored his movements, captivated by the strong hands. She inspected the pale skin, the dark hair, the perfect angle of his jaw line.

The whole figure had a strange sense of arrogance and she could hear the echo of his very soulful, bluesy-type voice.  Her heart was pounding in her chest, the space between their bodies feels like too much and not enough.

“You are unbalanced again.” Rey was trying to adjust her mind and body to the idea of having _feelings_ from the dark knight, when she heard Kylo´s deep voice, dangerously close to her.

“Ah… I see…” he says, leaning to place himself at eye level of her. “Fear.”

“I am not afraid of you,” she retreated back, knowing, however, that it wasn’t entirely true.

Kylo replied by widening his eyes as if to say, _really_? He leans in, his face mere inches from her, but doesn’t close the gap between them. He was looking at her, eyes studying her face as he could read her thoughts easily.

“Yes, you are. I just don’t know why.”

Rey opens the mouth for a caustic answer but was enable to find the words, the male scent making her  lightheaded. She tried to seat further away, but Kylo stopped her, holding her by her waist. Rey inhales sharply when she felt the touch of the leather on her body. Even it was over the clothes, the warmth and the cold of the leather overloaded her senses.

Their eyes met, and she felt Kylo increasing the pressure of his touch, before starts pushing her down to the bed, bringing her with him.

“Kylo?” she tried to find the words, but it was excitement mixed with fear. He was pushing her down on the bed and the idea of being dragged beneath the male body it was like the most disturbing dream.

“Yes?” he said, eyes challenging her to contain him, but she didn’t get away from his touch. He realizedt he girl always called him _Kylo_ when she was frightened by too much intimacy. The knight wondered if she had noticed that too.

“What are you doing?” she brings her hands down to his shoulders, trying to stop him, but he was ridiculously strong.

“I'm interrogating you,” he said, the voice hoarse. “In case someone asks.”

Rey looked surprised to him, both by the warmth of his touch as by the Kylo´s attempt at a joke,  needing time to adjust herself to this version of him. Time she wouldn't have.

Kylo lies down on the bed, taking Rey with him.

They were close enough to kiss.


	16. Chapter 16

They were close enough to kiss, but they don’t.

He remained in silence, as if they had all the time in the galaxy at his disposal. Rey didn’t dare to move, her body closer as he moved leaning over her. Kylo leaned now half on top of her, his face close, one arm under her head, as inviting Rey to rest. His other hand remains pressing into the mattress beside her, supporting his body while he continues studying her face from above.

“This doesn’t look like an interrogation to me,” she said suspicious. She looks at Kylo’s face, incapable of reaching his intentions.

“I had to use more advanced interrogation tactics,” he answered. The face of the knight was as unreadable as he was still wearing his mask, the difference was that now she sees the usual intensity to his dark eyes. “You still resist me.”

“Well, I didn't want to go with _"I told you so,"_ because that would be rude, but it's kind of implied,” she tried to be scornful, but wasn’t sure she had succeeded.

“ I think that is more important what is not implied.”

“I’m…not sure I understand,” says Rey, genuinely confused about what he’s trying to say.

“You lie to yourself,” he said without hesitation. “It’s what you do. You lied about your parents. You lied about Luke, about the Resistance. And now you are lying to yourself about me. That is why you keep trying to resist.”

He said every word looking at her mouth, not at the eyes.

He hadn’t had much experience about that. In fact, he had none experience. The physical details of that kind of human behavior always seemed strange and useless to Kylo, as much as the emotional aspects. Pressing someone lips, inserting himself into other body. Or even worse, allowing someone to invade his own body.

Despite he had little experience, he wasn’t obtuse. He was observing the brown pupils dilated, the eyes wide opening. The girl had the face flushed, breathing faster. Kylo was absorbing all the small details, once again speculating how could someone have such a hard living and preserve that innocence.

He allowed himself to absolve every detail of her, thinking about the  taste of her lips in his own mouth. Yes, he wants. Desperately. And self-control is not his strong suit. But he doesn’t want to do this through the Force. He wants to feel her, taste her. He watches her lips parted, leaning slightly forward him.

“Kylo... stop...” she warned him. She went to sit upright in bed so she could move away from him, but the firm press of Kylo’s hand kept her still.

Whitout bothering to explain himself, he lay down to the bed besides her and Rey finds herself facing the black shirt. She holds Kylo´s shirt, curling her fingers around the fabric, trying to control her dizziness by holding the first solid thing she had around, even though that wasn’t the best idea.

The black shirt felt strangely soft, so differently from his usual harsh layers of fabric, making her wish to run the fingers across the broad chest. She feels the temperature of the male body, the texture of the muscles under the palm of her hand.

He moved one arm again under her head cuddling her, the other hand pushing her waist, getting the female body closer to him. And, if that was the most natural thing in the galaxy, he starts talking again about the saber and the crystals. Rey blinked several times, once again confused by his behavior. She didn’t know for sure what version was more dangerous: the dark warrior or the seductive knight.

Rey sighs in exasperation and drops the subject, but Kylo noticed she was more relaxed, now they have returned to the former conversation, wordlessly encouraging him to continue cuddling her while they talk about a plasma weapon with the energy of several thousand degrees.

“Kylo?” she asked in a hesitant tone. They were in silence for a while, and he started to look drowsy. Or relaxed, Rey couldn’t say. Things had gotten way _too_ familiar and Rey couldn’t believe she was letting him sleep by her side once _again_.

“Humm…” he mumbled, his hand still around her waist. That was the strangest situation, but neither of them makes any effort to change it.

“Why your saber is different from the others?” She wasn’t sure if it was a wise path, to ask that for Kylo Ren. As if to prove it, he stayed silent, like Rey knew he would probably be.

“I mean…to all you have told me, nothing seems to explain this,” she tried again, softer. She was thinking about how different his saber was, the sparkling crimson blade, the lateral vents on either side of the handle, the chaotic energy flowing from it.

He takes him a time to respond, and Rey can’t tell he was unnerved or elusive. “It’s an unstable crystal,” he said finally.

She expected for the rest of the answer, but Kylo obviously thought it will enough to put an end at the topic. “What that means?” she insisted.

Kylo sighed. She definitely was the fearless girl he knew. He could not think about anybody else insisting on asking him such a treacherous question. “Unstable crystal is the result of the initiate failing to replicate the natural formation process of the crystal,” he explained. “Nevertheless, I decided to use it in that way, but it required…adaptations.”

Rey was puzzled by the answer. She held her head to look at him, rubbing his chin with the nose by the movement. For a moment, she forgot what she was about to say, startled by the touch of the male skin on her face, the sight of his collarbones.

“It works perfectly, if is that what you are thinking,” he said. His hand still holds her waist and he starts to trace slow circles with the thumb, fondle as gentle as the wind, contradicting his cold tone.

“I still can kill you with my saber,” he snaps.

“I sure you do,” she replied. The brush of his fingers was extremely light.

“Slice someone in twice,” he pointed, continuing to caress her waist during the menacing speech.

“Impressive,” Rey said, mouthing the words onto his shirt.

“Its instability makes it much more harmful,” his voice was deep and rough, his eyes travelling from his face to her neck. “It requires more ability to the fighter as it’s prone to shorting out, causing the lightsaber to deactivate from time to time.”

“If I didn't know you better, that might look like a glint of pride,” she says.

Kylo ignored the defiance, watching her eyes traveling down from his scar, from the forehead to the collarbone. He knows there was a little chance the girl being receptive to what he had in mind, but could not resist the temptation.

Rey almost whimpered at the touch, holding her breath in a cold chill, when she realized Kylo was pushing the edge of her tunic.  It was just a few inches above her waist, but enough for him to touch the bare skin of the girl. He braced himself to be repelled, even attacked. 

He felt odd warmth emanating from the girl, something he couldn’t identify.The girl muttered some incoherent words in a weak voiceb but stayed unmoving, a reaching and unspoken agreement to remain there.

Kylo gentle pull her closer to him her a few more inches, holding the small body. He keeps caressing her waist slowly, making a valiant effort not to moving it upwards.

Rey felt her stomach knot.She was afraid this has become in something they could never come back from, but made a mental note to go back to that later.

“The energy of the blade is so strong it will cauterize the wound as it passed,” he added, the mouth mere inches for her ears. She seemed to be enjoying the feel of the leather against her skin and he found that he was having a hard time remembering what he was supposed to be saying.

“I sure you would definitely do this. _If_ you summon the saber…” she teased him, closing the eyes and inhaling the alluring scent of his body. Leather and mint.

Ren tried to hold, but it was a battle lost. He couldn’t avoid smiling at her remark, the time he tried to summon the saber and was almost decapitated by it as it hurtled past him going right into the girl’s hands.

“Well played, girl,” he whispered.


	17. Chapter 17

“Tell me again why you have to go,” Finn demanded, hands on the hips, as he used to do when he was impatient.

They were preparing the Milennium Falcon to its departure. The sun outside the platform was scorching that day, but nothing she wasn’t used to, had living years under a merciful sun. Rey used the back of her hand to wipe the sweat off the forehead, also trying to get some time before facing her friend.

“I will return, Finn,” she said as he pulled her off to the side. She truly intended to return and it was all she could say for sure.

Rose, Poe and other pilots had joined the area and looked far too anxious to pretend they were not listening. Which was impossible, Rey knew it. They were trying to act as normal as possible, giving some kind of privacy to them, Finn and Rey, aware that was a question between them.

Finn held his glass towards Rose before turning his attention back to Rey. “Its about him, isn’t it?” he asked abruptly.

“Him?” she echoes, intrigued. Finn  was so serious that if it were anyone else she would drift away.

“You know. Kylo Ren.”

“What are you talking about?” she asked, nearly dropping the toll box they were taking into the ship, grateful that they were not explosives.

“Come on, Rey,” Finn replied, rolling the eyes. “Every time we talk about him you start to act all nervous. You never told us exactly what happened between you both,” he accused.

Rey suddenly feels very shy. That it was all Kylo´s fault, she cursed him, hoping he could feel it through the Force. It was his fault she had become a pretender and a fraud to her friends. Could be possible they had already figured out all she had been hiding from herself?

“Did he hurt you?” Finn asked. “I mean… did he lay a hand on you?” His voice was warm as always, but Rey could detect a trace of resolute in his face, as he could’ve been thinking about the question for a while.

“What?” Rey looks at her, incredulous. One of her hands automatically reaches for the spot of her waist that he’d held, but she knows that’s not what Finn meant. She shakes her head. “No, he didn’t. I mean…” she cut the line without actually clarifying anything at all.

She was conflicted by the loyalty to her friends and the extension of her feelings for Supreme Leader. Rey couldn’t see a way to balance this path, but she had learned to trust her instincts. And she knew for sure that it wasn’t the time to worry about that even more that she had already done.

“Finn…” she hug him once more, trying to put all her feelings in that hug so he could understand her without the need of complicated words. “It’s something I have to do and this time you can’t take my place. I have to do this by myself.”

“Whatever this is, just come back soon, ok?” Finn said to Rey over her shoulders, holding her one last moment.

“I will, Finn. I promise.” Rey said to Finn who nodded his head in agreement. It was an evasive answer and Rey knew it, but it was all she could say.

 

Kylo Ren was seated in his command bridge. He was thinking how mysterious the Force could be.

Months after the destruction of Starkiller Base, he had spent most of his time vacillating between rage and despair. The one constant – that point which drove him forward – was his obsession with the girl from Jakku.

He had felt the awakening, just as Snoke did. Even though, Kylo was truly surprised by the fact it was the girl the source of such power. Not that he wasn’t used to find strength in women, not being son of his mother, above all. But Princess Leia, General Organa had a different kind of strength, with his bloodline and royal education.

They were deeply bound, he and Rey, in a way that he couldn't understand. The Force had brought them together, there was no doubt about that. But the growing strength of their connection, the reason he had become every time more bound to the girl, it wasn’t because of the Force in her. The girl was…different.

He thought about all the people he had known, living a futile and comfortable existence, while the lonely girl tried to survive. Despite this, he could perfect remember the warmth and peace echoing from her, blended with strong compassion.

The increasing power of their connection allowed them to see the other more solid and vivid than everything else in the galaxy. And their bond was constantly changing. He had being surprised by the image of the small girl fainting in front of him, abruptly.  She had being able to reach him when he was hurt and vulnerable. He had being pulled to the Force by her call.

Kylo started to tap his fingers over the board, and then stopped. It was a habit he didn’t remember having.  Try as he might, he could not say the exact nature of his feelings toward her. Sometimes, it felt like cold hatred, other times it was something more dangerous. Something hot, like touching a fire.

And sometimes, just like now, he was able to sense the echoes of her through the Force,  elusive glimpses of her. Kylo knows it was her, even before open himself to the Force. He could feel the warmth emanating from her light.

He wasn’t sure he liked it.

Rising from his seated position, Kylo Ren made his way toward the quarter. He sensed the officers arriving, walking on the corridor. Differently from Snoke, Kylo didn’t summon the officers to his private quarters.

“Supreme Leader,” General Hux greeted, a subservient tone of voice disproved by his expression.

Kylo Ren studiously ignored Hux as the general take the seat and started the reports, in a strutted way that usually infuriates Kylo. Today, he was almost amused by the display of arrogance that it was also intolerance, miserliness.

Kylo had no difficult in identify the nature of the feelings around the room. Some officers were opportunist, hoping to get all they could by flattering. Useful, but Ren wasn’t fool enough to trust them.  He also knew perfectly well that the most part of them fear him, the recluse and powerful former pupil of Snoke. And then, there was Hux. Ambitious, an overdeveloped sense of self-importance.

“I am troubled by the apparent limitations of our …strategy,” Kylo listened the General, his tone of voice in a deference that indicates more mockery than concern.

“I personally will be along to supervise the reconversion process,” Kylo announced.

“There is no need, Supreme Leader. I am sure there are more important questions demanding your attention.”

“And the contractors, specially the manufacturer of the power cells,” he said firmly.

“Supreme Leader Snoke never did such thing. He would assign this tasks to the properly subordinate and…” whatever Hux was going to say, died in his mouth by looking at the knight. The others around the board moved uncomfortably, noticing the stiffness in his arms, the eyes foreshadowing a storm. Kylo didn’t even have to say the words. They could feel his volatility coursing through the air.

“Is there a problem, General?” Kylo says and he thinks he detects a hint of nervousness from Hux.

“Of course not, Supreme Leader Ren. We will make the necessary arrangements.” Despite the deference, Kylo didn’t notice the usual combination of submission and mockery. This time, there was only a true nervousness. That was something else.

Kylo Ren crossed his arms across his chest as he considered his options. He could probe the information from Hux´s mind, of course, but it will be the same as declaring open war. And Kylo wanted to avoid this, at least for now.

Kylo dismissed the subject with a wave of his hands and Hux bows his head with a deference that may or may not be mocking. As the officers changed to the usual points, the dark knight was immersed in his own thoughts. He was turning over the scenario for possible downsides when she came abruptly to his mind, interrupting every thought it wasn’t her.

He caught exactly what Rey intended. He sensed her very intent, she was equally filled with optimism and a sense of purpose. He could recognize the familiar feeling. There was no doubt about the place Rey was going.

“Prepare my ship,” Kylo ordered, practically jumping from his chair. Ignoring the inquisitive face around him, he opened the door with a wave of hand,  his cape snapped behind him as he strode through the room.

There was no time to waste.

 


	18. Chapter 18

The cave wasn’t like Rey imagined. Yes, it was dark.  So dark that makes her think she was walking on nothing, as if the cave had created its own version of the night. And there was also the silence. Deep and strong, as if nothing alive had been there for a long time.

But it wasn’t scared at all.

_The crystals are deep within. To reach them, you will have to pass through visions and challenges. Some of them may frighten you. Some of them are drawn from your own past. They are your deepest fears._

She repeated Kylo´s words in her mind, remembering what he thought her about crystal caves. She remembered the exact words of the knight, the weight of his intonation and the deepness of his voice. She knew he wasn’t lying and she found herself wondering if he was just repeating the lines or it was something he had experienced.

He told her that the vergence of the Force within the cave was intense and fueled by the dark and light aspects of the universal energy field. Because of this, the area surrounding the cave was permeated with a sense of dread, while Force-sensitives often perceived the area as being cold, filled with malice and menace.

So far, Rey didn’t sense anything like this.

She continues walking in that labyrinth of winging tunnels, shafts, and narrow corridors. It seemed to her that trying to reach the heart of the mountain it was very similar to be a scavenger in those old ships. Deep below the surface of the planet, searching and seeking. This was familiar to her.

She climbed another rock and looked down the pathway as far as she could before it curved, but she could not see the end, only a network of tunnels. Sweat breaks out on her forehead and Rey used the back of his hand to remove it.  Obsidian rock lined on the floor and the rock above them was higher than she could reach.

She was miles away from any living beings, no one knew she was in that place. Rey shook his head, trying not to think about that. She has to be completely focused in searching for her first lightsaber crystal.

She closed her eyes and opened herself to the Force. Breath, just breath. She tried to reach deep inside the cave, feeling in her mind the texture of the rock, the smell of the stale air, the coldness of the walls.

Rey couldn’t say how much time has passed when she saw it. Bright and strong. She knew instantly it was hers. She no long needs to walk aimlessly in the labyrinth of tunnels, she felt the path very clear in front of her, the one it would lead to the crystal. Rey felt she could summon it and the crystal would come right to her hands.

It was a weird mix of hope and dread. She starts to walk in the direction of the bright crystal, removing again the sweat from her forehead. It was a curious thing, as the cave was so cold. She looked to the end of the tunnel, already sighting the silver bright of her crystal. Because it was not deep blue or white, the crystal had a silvery color, delicate and strong.

Rey walked from a considerable time. For a brief moment, she thought she had heard someone, perhaps even calling her name. Just as soon as she felt it thought, it was gone and she wondered it had been a figment of her imagination.

She could hear the silver sparkles of the crystal, in a growing excitement.  She also notices  the pain. There’s the dull ache of her muscles, and a sharper, less familiar pain in her chest. _You are close now,  you can see it!_ Rey keep saying she would not allow herself to give up so easily, but there was less conviction each line.

Rey decided to seat and rest for a moment. She noticed the earth under her nails. For a moment, she anticipates Kylo´s lecturing her about her impulsive demeanor. It was such nonsense thing to worry about that Rey couldn’t avoid smiling.

“Come girl, let’s finish this at once and go back home,” she extracted herself from the seat position and started walking again.  Home… Rey felt even lonelier by this thought. Endless times she kept awaked at night, trying hard to imagine how she would feel being at home. Not a random place, not a warship, but at home.

Rey paused and drew a deep breath before she clambered over another boulder blocking her path. She'd been working her way up a rocky pass for what felt like hours. At this point, her steps have become weaker and slower. She forced herself to see farther in the gloom, but it was useless.

She was  walking through the darkness no longer knowing where she was going or caring about her destiny. The pain in her chest increased with every step, suffocating her. Rey was assaulted by every deep thought she'd ever had. Loneliness, regrets, her deepest secrets, her lost hopes.

The girl made a last attempt to summon the crystal. It was so close she could already fell its texture at his fingertips, the fluctuation of energy running along it. But the crystal remained in his place, wedged in the ancient cave.

Rey was about to quit the search for the crystal, now hating the cave.  She could sense the evil aspect, exuding the darkness. Staggering, Rey opened her mouth and tried to call, but she didn’t know who. Confused, she felt the words forming in her mouth, but no sound came.

Her steps reduce to a mere staggering. And she crashed.

Curious, but Rey had never though about dying before. You do not think seriously about dying in a battle or at war. All she ever thought was surviving.  In a last breath of consciousness, Rey remembered who she was trying to call. Kylo. She repeated his name in her mind and for a brief moment she thought the knight could listen to her. She almost saw him, strong and mighty. And then he was gone, leaving her alone again.

 

He had to make a decision. Soon.

WithRey draped in his arms, Kylo Ren climbed the rock. He searched the surrounds one more time before dropping to the ground right in front of the last tunnel, if he remembered correctly.

He was carrying the girl. Again. He had gone to the Cave in an impulse, not knowing exactly what he was doing. The girl nestled in and passed out,  all snuggled up against his chest. Now he would have to make a decision.

He looked down one more time, staring the unconscious girl in his arms, her dead dropped against his chest.  The knight could feel the girl slowly returning to life. He could feel she was peaceful and secure. Or perhaps that was his own feelings, he couldn’t be sure.

He had found her, as he was sure he would do. Kylo couldn’t say how long she had been unconscious. His temper boiled thinking about how close the girl had been to losing herself forever in the cave, wandering from tunnel to tunnel.

Yet, he recognizes the girl was strong. Anybody else would have succumbed earlier, lost forever in the darkness. He hastened to the entrance of the cave, every second more aware of her breath against his neck, burning him.

Outside, in the safety of the day light, he knelt down, carefully supporting the girl in one of his knees. He was more carefully than necessary and he noticed that, feeling frustrated with himself. This wasn’t supposed to happen at all.

He had never been in this position before, he though, staring the young woman unconscious in his arms. The one he was supposed to hate. “Rey?” he called her name, uncertain about what to do now.

“Kylo?” the girl answered back immediately. Rey knew it was him even before she opened the eyes. She could feel his volatility coursing through the Force, his bare presence electrifying everything.   Rey slowly returned to consciousness, finding herself wondering a pair of dark eyes.

She loses herself to his gaze for a breathless moment. So she wasn’t dreaming and he had listened to her through the galaxy. It was so tempting to let unconsciousness claim her again. Specially when every part of your body hurts and then you found yourself content and hopeful and… Cuddled in strong arms.

The knight  stretched out his hand to remove her hair from the face and suddenly Rey remembered _who_ he was and where they were, in a wave of panic. This was not the distant mist of the Force. He was _really_ there.  She tries to push herself into a seated position, only to discover, outraged,  that she was _really_ placed in Kylo Ren´s arms,  the front of his shirt involved between her fingers.

She released his vests abruptly and pushed the broad chest away, only to find out how weak she still was.   “You…” she frantic tried to escape from the dark knight, preparing to fight him if necessary. After all she had been through, she would not allow herself to be taken captive this easily.

“Stop!” he ordered, holding her more tightly. He could hardly believe what was happening as he watched her once again trying to escape from him. Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader of the First Order, have abandoned all his duties and travelled to this lost planet, only to fight another pointless battle with this girl. This definitely wasn't how it was supposed to go.

“I'm not going with you!" she yelled, planting her hands on his chest. Her whole body stiffened as she felt the warmth and the strength of the male body.

“Do you intend to kill yourself? I can provide it,” he said, the disdain in his voice disaffirming the gentleness she had felt before in his arms.

Rey fought to push the massive body away, desperately trying to tear free from his gasp. "Stay. Away. From. Me." she hissed. She felt nauseous, and tried to blink back tears. Rey was so overwhelmed by the flood of memories and emotions. And the pain, all that pain. She has to fight for her life again, once more against the mighty Kylo Ren.

Only he didn’t seem to be fighting at all. Though the knight still holds her against his chest, he didn’t try to fight or injure her. In fact, he was staring her in silence and Rey could swear she detected a pinch of amusement on the pale face watching her despair to get free of his gasp.

Rey was furious by the indolent manner of the knight, but even her obstinacy has its limits and she stopped trying to push him away. He leaned forward, eyes flicking down to her lips and back again, pausing when his face was inches from her. Rey stood anchored in place, drawing shaky, erratic breaths.His eyes fluttered open to meet hers.

“If you collaborate, I will let you go,” he restated with authority.

The fire in her eyes reignited and she glared at him. "You'll _let me_ go, if I cooperate? I will not let you kill me!”

Kylo sighed. He knew that sooner or later they would find themselves in this position. He had been too aware they may only meet each other as enemies.

He wished they had more time.

“If I'd wanted to kill you, you would have been dead hours ago. You know that.” As he hurled this at her, he set his jaw and tensed slightly. Rey felt uncomfortable by the flush of memories. She knew Kylo was referring the moment after the battle in the throne room, when she had left him, unconscious, but alive.  Rey tried to reach the Force, not sure she would succeed. It was not like her to give up without a fight. But she was still weak and lethargic, against the powerful and healthy and strong Kylo Ren.

“Okay,” she said, her voice sounding hollow and unfamiliar. Her mind was trying to find out the truth about what had happened, and his words slowly began to make some sense.

Kylo stood up, bringing her in a steady movement, as if she weighs nothing. They stand beside one another without speaking.

 


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 16**

“Are you all right?” he asks, at last.

Rey wanted to say that it was definitely not all right, but she just nodded with the head, before a wave of nausea overcomes her. She tried to walk, ill balanced, and would have fallen if Kylo had not caught her.

“I don’t think you are,” he tried again, softer, more tender this time.Rey froze as she felt his strong hand close around her smaller one.

Every single detail about Kylo was amplified and for a moment, she forgot who he was and where they were. All she could feel was the touch of the leather as he ran a finger over her knuckles.

“You should rest,” Kylo added, the words felt strange in his mouth and he tried to remember the last time he said that to someone. If he had ever said.

He walked away from the girl in an effort to put space between the two of them. She was a scavenger, his own voice whispers in his mind, while he's the last in a line of heroes, and carries the blood of royalty in his veins. He clears his throat and tries to smooth his features into a mask of disinterest.

“Where is your ship? We need to get out of here.”  It would not be long until they start to draw attention. That had gone much further than he had expected, he said to himself.

"Wh- what?" she stammered,  her face burning despite the coldness she had felt inside the cave. She was never this inarticulate. Despite everything, Rey couldn’t avoid admiring the dark eyes, dangerously close. For a moment, she took the time to recognize the scar crossing the pale face. The physical proximity had been intoxicating, she felt her entire body humming with a low level electric current.

“Your ship. How did you come to this damn place?” he inquired, arms crossed in front of the chest.

“Chewie brought me here, he will return when I call him,” then she remembered she was talking to the Supreme Leader of the First Order in person. “Of course I can’t do this now as you are here too,” she said, sounding offended.

He raised one eyebrow in return, irritatingly unconcerned. “Why not?”

“Do you really want to explain all this?” she makes a gesture indicating them both. “Nobody will understand, if the Resistance arrives with Chewie, it will be a battle if they barely catch a sight of _you_.”

“We can't stay too long. The danger at the moment is not only inside the Cave,”  he pointed, the voice serious.

“You mean?” she asked the dark figure. Despite their animosity and the awkwardness of being in person with the Supreme Leader, she sensed Kylo was not lying. She also knew he was stronger than ever and she get used to the sure instincts of the dark knight.

“This place was used as a punishment. A sort of exile for delinquent officers, rival captains and as a graveyard for derelict ships.”

“I can take off by myself. I've been taking care of myself for years, you know." She wasn't sure how effective her dissuasion would be. “And I sure nobody will try anything against the Supreme Leader in person.”

“Nobody knows I’m here. I don’t want to drawn attention of the entire First Order for the fact I came here because of you,” he pointed. She shot a surprised look his way, defiance turning into confusion.

“That is why you are wearing a uniform?” She first noticed the unusual garment of the night. He wasn’t wearing his attire, but a simple uniform.

“As you said, this would end in a battle. I want to be unknowable.” As usual, his hair was irritatingly composed. The whole figure emanated power and health. On the other hand, Rey knew for sure she was covered in dust, disheveled and sweat.

“Sure…” she answered, rolling her eyes. Even weak and confused by the awkward situation, Rey couldn’t avoid finding Kylo´s statement funny.  Kylo would never look a simple officer. She feels his authority, his strength and she knew that even a non-sensitive person would sense it too. Besides, there was his striking figure, every inch covered in black. He would never be indefectible.

Kylo was quiet for a minute, his lips pressed together, turning over the scenario for any other possible downsides and finding none.  “You will come with me.”

She tried to find the right words, but it didn’t come. Deep down, trapped somewhere secret, she felt something else, something truly forbidden.  She looked up at Kylo’s face: cheeks paled, eyes darker than ever.

“Are you crazy? I can’t just jump into a First Order command shuttle.”

“If you stop being irrational, will realize this is the only alternative,” he countered. “Unless...you are too afraid of me,” he disdained, observing the girl blushing with a secret pleasure.

“I am not afraid of you,” she retreated back, knowing, however, that it wasn’t entirely true. His voice was serious and the manners as indolent as usual, but she felt an odd warmth radiating off him, something she couldn't identify.

Rey closed her eyes, inhaling deeply. The fact is that despite all her arguments, Kylo was right. She was hungry, thirst and, above all, tired. She desperately wanted to leave the place but she wasn’t sure she could do this alone.

“Fine. But you will let me in the first system,” she said at least, the words rolling unnatural in his tongue. _Perfect!,_ she said to herself. There she was, rescued by Supreme Leader Kylo Ren.

“You must follow me,” he said laconic. They looked each other for a while and Rey wasn’t sure if he was talking only about the way out. Rey´s answer was to ignore his words and march ahead the knight, an instinct to defiance the Supreme Leader.  

He watched as Rey walked off in the direction of the cave opening. She must really want to be rid of him. Funny. That was not what he'd felt from her back in the cave...but no matter. He will have time to think about the girl during their flight together.

Only they will not have time. Again.

For a brief moment, Kylo thought the girl had just escaped from him. Just as soon as he felt it though, he realized he has been distracted, admiring the energy and agility of the girls movements in front of him, and this had let he unwarned.

Now they were surrounded, two men he couldn’t identify holding Rey, a few others pointing their weapons to Kylo. They were not from the Resistance, nor of any rebel group Kylo knew. They seemed to be some kind of exiled, as he had told to the girl before.  

He watched Rey frantic trying to escape and sensed her temper boiling as fast as his do. The girl he had come so far to safe, defying his position, his army and his convictions. Kylo assessed the situation and identified a very serious problem. The extent of this could become a true disaster if the sort of delinquent discover how important they really were.

“I told that was something happening here,” one of the man accused. “A First Order shuttle right here? These two must be really important.”

The one who seemed a sort of leader was observing Kylo. Rey stood anchored in place, a shiver going down her spine. She could sense the chaotic and brutal energy from the knight. She could fell the crimson-blade of his lightsaber starting to spark, even moment more unstable, the red flow of energy demanding to be release, intensified by Kylo´s rage.

“Look at this one here…” the man final said, pointing Kylo with his head. “He must be a high-ranking officer.” She knew the man was studying the brand-new uniform, the impeccable appearance, the arrogance shinning from the tall figure.

“What is an important officer like you doing here?” the man asked, not really expecting for an answer. “I can bet it has something to do with the girl,” he looked maliciously to Rey and it was enough to make the knight react. 

Rey watched Kylo´s hand twitching and she could sense him inner summoning from the saber, his rage igniting, his face strong and composed, warning everybody around to step away.  

As if they were predicting the danger increasing, two other men held Kylo by the shoulder, even there were a few more pointing blasters to him. She holds her breath, a thrill of anticipation.

“Ben…” she called the knight, using his former name, the one just a few people could recognize.  She barely managed to shake her head in a ' _no_ ' to him when he looked at her. hoping he could sense her thoughts.

He did. It was dangerous to use the Force. They had caught enough attention already, it will be a true disaster if someone finds out two force-sensitive together in that part of the system. They should to get rid of everything connecting the two of them.

Fine, the knight thought. Let´s do this in the old way. Kylo removed his arms from those who held him with a strong movement. There was no time from them to react, as he followed by an elbow to their nose. Kylo listened, satisfied, the sound of their noses being broken. They got hit and fell backward, knocked out.

He deviated from one blaster shot with an arrogant twist.  His mind was focused, enjoying the physical effort. Step, twist, punch. He took a while to search from the girl. One of the men used a blaster, the shot grazed Rey´s arms during the fight, but he knew she could deal with those two.

Even in that mess, Rey found herself once again admiring Kylo, dark and powerful, studying the enemy, choosing the best movement. The cold rational fighting combined to powerful, reckless attacks.  He was not interested in outlasting his opponent, pursuing a relentless forward motion when fighting.

It took no more than minutes to all of them to be shot down. Rey knew, deep down, it wasn’t right. But she couldn´t avoid the warmth she was feeling, being protected with such intensity and fury. She observed his heavy breath, the large chest moving deeply to push the air, the messy hair. 

“You’re hurt,” Kylo looked at her.  If someone told her to point to where it hurts, Rey wasn’t sure where she’d start. The back of her mouth was dry, her stomach hurts from hunger as she had been starving to death. Then there was the headache, the diziness.Too tired to expend the energy on unnecessary words, she nodded in consent.

Without bothering to explain, Kylo hoisted her up in his arms to carry her the way to the ship.  She took a deep breath and tried to move but the pain shot through her, radiating out from her body.

“Can you put me down?" even though she was grateful for the male presence, her wounded pride couldn't handle any more assistance from him.

“You won’t be able to do much for a while, your body will take a while to recover. And we need to leave now.”  His voice was barely above a whisper, but the abrasive tone he used sometimes wasn’t there. There was no dominance in his grasp either.

She attempted to retaliate for the indignity, but she had become so cold and lethargic that she could barely muster the energy for a complaint. Instead, she just let her head drop against his chest as she clung to his robes.

With Rey draped in his arms, the knight climbed the ramp to enter his shuttle. If _that_ was not a decision, what was then?

 


	20. Chapter 20

Perhaps he had been right to suggest they take shelter, she thought. Rey didn’t remember feeling that comfortable, ever. And safe.

She crawled under the covers. First, she had slept as someone who truly deserved it. Now she was becoming more awake, a sense of having things to do, tough she couldn’t remember what.

Echoes of a voice she did not identify resonated in her mind. It was not an unpleasant sensation, so Rey didn’t want to wake. She buried her face in a pillow and grabbed another to curl up around before drifting off to sleep.  Then she noticed the distinctive mint smell against, mixing with the scent of leather.

Her heart had a fall when she remembered that was the perfect fusion to match Ren's personality.  She wakes with a start  and sits in the bed, mortified by the possibility of being asleep in the same bed as Kylo Ren.

The dark knight wasn’t there. Rey couldn’t avoid feeling a pang of disappointment as she reached this conclusion.  She cast a glance around the room. It was simple, spotless clean and organized, in a way she wasn’t sure she could ever achieve. She rises up for the bed and reached the window, looking out there, suspicious. The colors tickle her sight and she most relishes the heat and the warmth of that place.

She closes her eyes momentarily, basking in it. Love. Peace. Laugh.

“I am glad to know you are perfectly well.” She startled by the mechanical voice, releasing the thin curtain she held, as if she were doing something forbidden. She turned to face a domestic droid, holding a tray, the perfect image of obedience and helpfulness.

“I was let to know you would appreciate some nutriment,” the droid let the tray in a table nearby and the vision and smell made her stomach hurt, remembering her she had not eaten and drunk for quite a while.

“I am sure you will enjoy some refreshment after eating, so I brought you this, you can use it while we wash your clothes. It will not require much time.” The droid explained while depositing some clothes on the bed.

“Ahhh…Thank you,” she said, not knowing exactly what else she could say. Rey wasn’t sure what to expect, but being cared and served with that kind of solicitude still seemed strange to her.  “I am Rey,” she added, deciding it wasn’t bad try to get more information. “I don’t know this place. Where are we?”

“Master Ren will be glad to explain this in person.” Polite, but vague.

“Kylo?” she inquired. “You mean he is here, now?” For a moment, she felt surprised. The knight could have left her anywhere and just vanished. Or make her prisoner. She didn’t recognize that place, but there was no chance of that being a prison, not even in the First Order.

“I am quite sure Master Ren will be glad to answer all your questions,” the droid repeated. “He demanded to be personally informed as soon as you wake up.”

The droid explained in a tone of voice which indicated she was being unusually dignified and Rey couldn't avoid find it amusing. “He will be here as soon as possible. I hope you find the accommodations suitable,” the mechanical voice added and left the room.

Rey was left alone, eating slowly and considering her options. She could try to escape, of course. Or she could wait and get more information with Kylo Ren in person.  If the dark knight didn’t try to kill her first, she sighed, becoming aware of the acceleration of her pulse by the perspective of facing him again.  

“Idiot,” she whispered to herself, clenching her jaw together. She was embarrassed and now increasingly nervous for them to meet in this intimate situation.

Taking a peek at herself in a mirror, she realized how sick she looks, dirt under the nails and scattered around her face. At least, she decided to follow the droid recommendation. She got in the shower and turned the water up hot, steam curling around her and making her feel so much better. She closed the eyes under the water, feeling the sore muscles getting relaxed.

She looked puzzled to the cabinet, wondering if she was in Kylo´s quarters again. There were more bottles and stuff she could imagine using. Without meaning to, she started to think about the knight, where he could be right now.

She tried to calm herself and cut off the thoughts before she found herself in front of him through the bond.  As quick as she could, she lathered up her hair and the rest of her body. She let out a sigh of satisfaction before wrapping a towel around herself and exiting the shower.

Her satisfaction ended the moment she tried to put on the clothes the droid had left. She had already used his cape, his bed, his sheets. Now she would have to wear his black clothes. This had gone beyond all limits.

She did not want to wear Ren's clothes, but at the moment, she couldn’t think about other options.

Rey decided it was impossible to wear the trousers or the tunic, he was so much taller and broad then she was. She let out a groan of exasperation while examining the black shirt. Rey dressed, finding Kylo´s scent on it.

She was checking her tiny figure wearing Kylo´s shirt, when she jumped slightly. Rey sensed the familiar humming of his presence through the Force, as he alerted her to his presence.

A terrifying realization bloomed in her mind: Supreme Leader Kylo Ren was about to see her wearing only his shirt, barely covering her thighs. With no better alternative in hand, Rey stood anchored in place, becoming aware of his accelerating pulse when Kylo Ren made his way toward the quarter.

Once again she felt his authority, his strength, electrifying everything around him. The droid came right away, bringing Rey´s clothes, the  polite fuss about the clothes and the accommodations making the situation even more absurd.

Addressing firmly to the droid, Kylo demanded. “Report me if the sensors detected something out of the common traffic. I will speak with you privately once I´ve decided my course of action.”

“Yes, Master Ren,” the droid replied before leaving the room. They were left alone, in silence. Rey bit her lip, wondering the best way to go about this.

“I would have …” Kylo starts,  then stopped. Clearing his throat, he took a few more steps into the room before continuing. “We don’t keep any other clothes here. I apologize.”

Blushing furiously, she remembered she was wearing _only_ his shirt. The slightly pause as he stared at her lap before returning to her face told her that he'd surmised what she was – or rather, wasn't – wearing under the shirt. She wondered if he was also noticing her wet hair and realising that she had just showered.

“Are you okay?” the knight asked in a undefined tone.

Rey blinks stupidly and realizes she was basically just staring at Kylo. “I´m fine,” she said.  Sensing her apprehension, he shook his head and offered her some explanation. "I do not employ Stormtroopers here. The only servants I retain are some droids. I can assure you are safe."

“I believe I am,” Rey replied, feeling oddly defensive. “I suppose I should thank you.”

Kylo nodded, just a small movement and she took a moment to memorize what it felt like to be so close to him again. Tall, dark. She shifted away slightly, feeling overexposed, one of her hands automatically reaches for the bottom of the shirt, trying to pull her down.  

“So… what is the proper First Order decorum to this?” Rey said,  unsure how to respond. Or what to say when your unbeatable enemy saves your life. And you are wearing his clothes. And he is the most tempting man you’d ever met.

“It is unlikely there is one.” He allowed his gaze to linger on Rey,  his height forcing her to raise her chin to keep her eyes on his face.

“Right, well. What the rules are? Are you going to put me in a cell or going to…restrain me or something?”

Kylo  stared at her for a moment as if he was pondering. “Do you want me to do this?"

“No,” Rey said quickly. “No, I just - this just feels odd,” Rey said simply, gesturing around her.

Kylo’s brows drew together as he studied her. She was trying her best to act normal, but Kylo imposing and tongue-tied figure was putting her on edge. She didn’t know what he wanted – she never know what he wants. Rey’s arms tensed by her side, fingernails digging into her palms.

“I will wait outside. Come when you are ready,” he commanded, his voice deep.

Rey watched the black-clad figure going out, wondering how she had messed this whole thing up so quickly. Remembering her own response to Kylo´s eyes drifting downwards her body, Rey gave herself a moment admitting the truth: she was in greater danger than ever.

 


	21. Chapter 21

The sunlight was moving across the floor as the afternoon gave way to early evening. Rey left through a door to one of the balconies. She had dismissed the droid’s accompaniment but now she wasn’t sure it was a wise decision.  

She tapped her fingers on the cold stone, biting the side of her cheeks. The world was quiet and peaceful, the sound of the small and unidentified birds the only thing puncturing the silence.

Rey finally caught a sight of him, studying the horizon, hands behind his back.

“Ben!” she called his name to get his attention, but the man kept his gaze ahead. He had heard her, but refused to acknowledge her calling him by his old name. She notices the rigidity of his shoulders, the stiffness in his arms.

As Rey walked over to him, she realized they were in a natural clearing. The breeze was a heavy wind, the plants moving slowly as bending to the will of the mighty Kylo Ren. She stalled, not knowing how close she should get to the knight.  

He was dressed casually and somehow managed to be even more attractive, wearing the familiar black shirt, sleeves rolled to his elbows. The sweaty hair over his forehead  and the cross-blade lightsaber to his hand indicates he must have been training.  

She looked around, amazed and terrified by the proper lascivious colors, colors she had never seen before. She _knew_ there was a lake nearby and felt as though the lake was calling them,  as if they both could hear the waters lapping around the shore, even when they weren’t there. 

“Where am I?” she asked. Her eyes flickered across to Kylo´s face – she was trying her best not to outwardly stare at him, but the way he was dressed so casually - it always drew her curiosity. 

“With me,” Kylo said dumbly, his hand flinging out as he gestures to the place around them. 

"Why do you have to make everything so difficult?” she asked. The knight remained in silence, as she knew he would probably would. 

“I know this place,” Rey said bluntly.  

“This property has been in my family for generations,” he said without actually clarifying anything at all. 

“You mean…” she was even more confused. “I saw it when we first touched hands.”

“I know that,” he admitted and there was the familiar petulance again. 

“You hadn't— you—” She stumbles over the right words to use, then settles for. “How could you do this? You knew about this place, you always knew about this and yet you just…” Rey was once again astonished by the power Kylo has to infuriate her.

“It was not my intention,” he said scornfully. “It’s extremely easy to reach out your thoughts when you talk about the vision you believe you had.”

Rey made a noise somewhere between a growl and a groan. “I do not _believe_ I had, I saw it. I know it's just one of the many possibilities, but…” Rey paused, waiting for Kylo to agree with him and disdain of that future. “It was the right thing to do. Finish this war. Join us.”

“You are wrong,” he muttered, jaw tense. “About everything.”

 "I’m not,” Rey bit back, louder than necessary. “If you had just stayed with me, it would have made everything easier,” she accused.  

Kylo crossed his hands over her chest, an expression of annoyance and warning. “I won’t fight you, there’s no point in that. Not anymore.” 

“What are you saying?” she pressed. Her gaze moved to his face, she studied him like he did the first time they connected through the force-bond.

 "You cannot win this, the Resistance is only wasting time, _my time_. I can change the fate of the galaxy.” Kylo stepped closer to Rey, his voice now a rushed whisper. “And we could have done this together.”

Rey grimaced, her response dying in her throat. She was going through his words trying to interpret what she could, trying to find some detail that she missed.

She glanced away from him again, suddenly very aware of how close they were and how she could smell his familiar scent of leather and mint. She wondered if it was cologne that he uses and the thought made Rey’s heart beats a little faster. It was difficult to think about an intimidating man as Kylo doing such a trivial thing.

He turned to look at her, and Rey was embarrassed that he caught her staring at him. “If you just-” Rey snarled, “If you…” She took a step towards him. “I was about to give up everything for you,” she finally said.

She saw the surprise in his eyes- followed by stubborn defiance.  “That is not true,” Kylo said, his voice steady. “That’s not what you’ve said.”

"There are things that don’t need to be said,”  Rey just sighs, exasperated, but not quite angry. She looked up at him, drinking in the sight of him like it was the last time she could do this. Perhaps it was. 

Rey planted herself a few inches from Kylo, ready to take what she wanted.  She caught the cuff of his sleeve and tugged him towards her. He caught on to what Rey intended, and moved himself closer to her. 

Then he waited. 

The energy between them starts to pulse upwards. For, a moment, she remembered they were supposed to be enemies to dead. Rey acknowledged the problem and put it aside, out of mind.  The girl stands on tiptoes to overcome the height difference. Kylo and Rey had just one moment to lock eyes as she leans up to reach his lips.    

Rey had thought about being kissed by Kylo, more than she would like to admit.  The manly Kylo Ren. Sometimes, during their force bond, she tried so hard not to reach out and kiss him, as the knight seemed to never move forward. In her dreams, his eyes were wild, his hands touching her with no gloves on. They did not spoke of war. 

So they were kissing. And to be honest, she had no idea how she was supposed to act.  At least that was how it seemed to her. The press of her mouth is light against his, and off-centre, their hands clenched by the side. 

She could feel his surprise, but still his lips never moved. Kylo was slow to respond, but his free hand came to eventually came up to reach her shoulders. He pushed her away. Not abruptly, but gentle instead, his eyes silent making everything even worse. 

At this point, her desire was identical as her wish to disappear.

They stand in front one another without speaking, the silence between them uneasy. He combed his hair with the fingers and feels embarrassed, ashamed for some reason. Rey looked around, forcing herself to pay attention to their environment as a means of avoid Kylo´s eyes, unsure of how to cut through the silence. 

“I will order the preparations for your departure,” he said at last,  the steely facade of Kylo Ren once more firmly in place. 

“Sure,” she was unable to prevent herself from disappointment. 

"Once you're settled, I'll instruct the crew about our destination."

“Are you…” She clears his throat and tries to smooth her features into a mask of disinterest. “Are you coming together?”

“Would it be so bad if I did?” he spoke softly, in a tone markedly different from the one he'd used before. The sharp contrast in Ren's voice as he spoke to her encouraged her to lift her head slightly. 

"I'm not sure," she mumbled. 

For a brief moment, Rey thought he was about to hold her. Just as soon as she felt it though, it was gone, and she wonders if it hadn't been a figment of her imagination. Turning to stride out of, Kylo paused just long enough to give one final order before heading back to the house. "I will send someone to inform you.” 

Rey shook her head  and stayed silent, distrusting herself to say something wise. _Damn it_ , she thought to herself. _I need to leave this place_. She scrubs her hands across her face, drawing a deep breath, trying to calm her body down from the embarrassment and the indescribable feeling of loss consuming her.

“Rey?” 

She startled by the sound of her name in the hoarse voice, she thought the knight had already gone. 

Rey turned to face him and found strength and determination in the male face.

“Come here,” Kylo said roughly,  stretching out his hand. Becoming aware of his accelerating pulse, Rey drew a deep breath and willed her heart to slow, before walking over to him and taking his hand. 

Rey took a moment to process that warmth thrill. Leather, mint. Her heart was pounding in her chest as she watches the knight  using one finger to lift up her chin. 

His gaze moved down, slowly, observing her face, her lips.  Once again, Rey tried to figure out which color his eyes were. Hazel, green and brown at the same time.  

“Now, let´s do this right, girl,” Kylo replied smoothly, his voice low and intense. 

He was obsessed with perfection in all things, and this would be no different.


End file.
